Oh How We Love Those Harvard LLMs
Last week we wrote a little bit about internecine warfare going on within the Harvard LLM community. It's a silly and trivial story -- which is, of course, ATL's stock in trade. So we intend to keep following it.
Today we're happy to bring you an update. This email went around over the weekend:
From: [xxxx]
Date: 3/24/2007 5:12:01 AM
To: [LLM community]Dear Fellow LL.M.s,
We would like to bring to your attention, an untoward incidence that augurs badly for the general reputation of the LL.M class. We fear, someone on this forum (God forbid) might be trying to cause antagonism between the diverse members of our community. Following our International Party, the advertisement flyers of this most successful event, were, apparently for the sake of ridicule, sent to a contemptible website -- the one for which Dean Kagan cautioned restraint.
Alas, the writer has confused his "contemptible website[s]." The site that was the subject of Dean Kagan's recent message is the site discussed in this Washington Post article. That site is not ATL (even if, one could argue, there isn't much of a difference at the end of the day).
More from our irate LLM, after the jump.
The email continues:
The links to the information referred to on the site, are hereunder.http://www.abovethelaw.com/2007/03/the_harvard_llm_community_more.php
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2007/03/res_ipsa_loquitur.php
The gripe is not so much the fact that these busybodies are going gaga over our flyers. Nay -- although it is admittedly hard to fathom why anyone would seek commentary refuge on such a mediocre forum. The qualm is much rather what appears to be the deliberate effort by their source to sate their appetite by fabricating an imaginary chasm between students in the LL.M class. Sad. This kind of sensationalism for self-aggrandizement, whatever malevolent rationale or sparsely thought out good intentions, must be condemned in the strongest terms.
FACT. We have had a stellar LL.M year where we have had occasion to bond as friends. FACT. There have been no divisions in the class on whatever front, nor is there cause for discord. Needless to say though, such acts as have been alluded to heretofore, could potentially send the wrong signals and ruin the reminder of our remarkable year.
If there had been any misunderstandings surrounding the International Party, these were amicably resolved and dispensed with. It is urged that we further our cordiality and promote and maintain the cohesion that has kept us together thus far.
… And if only to reiterate Dean Kagan’s communiqué on this subject, let us resist the temptation to originate or even contribute to discussions on such websites. Consequences borne out of that kind of fetish for gossip could have injurious ramifications to the reputations of innocent persons.
We, your representatives, affirm our dedication to the continued service of this wonderful and tightly-knit LLM community.
Thank you,
Your Reps,
SSMM
We enjoy the highfalutin, borderline archaic style of this email. But the "Kumbaya" portrait of international harmony the author tries to paint is misleading. It is definitely not a "FACT" that all the LLMs get along.
If you disagree, check out this promotional email for the "Taiwan Table." Snarky reference to Flyergate in the original (but emphasis added):
Dear all,Considering the International Party is around the corner, I hope you don't mind a warm-up from Taiwan Table!
Besides yummy Taiwanese food and treats (vegetarian as well), traditional costume & pop music, we have gifts to give out!
More than 20 authentic souvenir from Taiwan, including pocket-size traditional instrument and a bag of Taiwan map!
Come and say something about Taiwan (even some Mandarin or Taiwanese), and you'll have a chance to take something from Taiwan!
Pity as it is that we saw none of Asians countries was mentioned in the propaganda of International Party, I believe that all will be impressed by the passion and warmth from Asian Tables!
Have a nice weekend and see you on Monday!
Best,
... on behalf of Taiwan Table
So why are the Harvard LLMs trying to claim that they are a "wonderful and tightly-knit" community? Why not just admit that you all hate each others' guts, and hold a WWF-style "Battle Royal" in Harkness?
Earlier: The Harvard LLM Community: More Vicious Than the Cafeteria in 'Mean Girls'
Res Ipsa Loquitur
Comments
This kind of sensationalism for self-aggrandizement, whatever malevolent rationale or sparsely thought out good intentions, must be condemned ???????
alluded to heretofore?????????
we further our cordiality and promote and maintain the cohesion ??????
Consequences borne out of that kind of fetish for gossip could have injurious ramifications to the reputations of innocent persons.
???????????
20 authentic souvenir from Taiwan????
and a bag of Taiwan map!????
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 11:18 AM
Does it help that it wasn't even funny the first time the invite got posted on ATL?
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 11:50 AM
how about how a hack like monica goodling who went to some fake-ass law school got a doj job? i guess all loyola 2l has to do is suck GWB's buddies off...
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 12:02 PM
Gosh, why are Harvard LLMs so silly? What kind of people are they letting into Harvard LLM programs these days?
[And yes, I'm doing this to get the goat of the Harvard LLMs. They don't deserve this, you say? Come now. It's for Harvard's own good for the rest of us non-Harvard types to poke fun at them. Gives them a little humility and puts them in their place.]
Posted by: International Harvard LLMs are silly | March 27, 2007 12:03 PM
So who wrote that e-mail: Gallion or Spielvogel?
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 12:24 PM
12:02 -- She went to Regent, so I doubt she got where she was by giving BJs. Pat Robertson (and Jesus) wouldn't like that. Besides, I think you have your administrations confused.
Posted by: Anon | March 27, 2007 12:38 PM
I declare, good chap, the burgeoning oververbosity of yonder supplicant forbodes and fortells a diminutive intelligentia, forsooth!
Posted by: WTF? | March 27, 2007 01:03 PM
Let's admit this - we don't like the LLMs. Especially the Asian ones.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 01:04 PM
The Great Vegetable Lasagna War rages on.
Posted by: HLS 2004 | March 27, 2007 01:38 PM
Did any of the Asian groups set up a table dedicated to WGWAG?!
Posted by: jonb | March 27, 2007 01:46 PM
I deserve a table, too. Taiwanese women are hot.
Posted by: yellow fever | March 27, 2007 01:57 PM
1:03...that was the funniest thing I've heard all week. Thanks for making my day.
Posted by: Kevin | March 27, 2007 02:32 PM
1:03...that was the funniest thing I've heard all week. Thanks for making my day.
Posted by: Kevin | March 27, 2007 02:32 PM
1:03, I was thinking the same exact thing! It's so poorly written that it's comical.
"Consequences borne out of that kind of fetish for gossip could have injurious ramifications to the reputations of innocent persons."
Are you kidding me?
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27, 2007 02:58 PM
Two points:
1. I don't think I could be that pompous if I tried. I know you all really, really want to be U.S. lawyers, so here's a tip. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU WRITE A LETTER! I'm not saying we don't have our weird conventions in writing contracts or board resolutions...but for the love of god, don't write something like that to a partner...you'll be a laughing stock.
2. Anyone else get the impression that someone writing this letter learned English from a trashy romance novel? "Sate their appetite"? "Fetish for gossip"? Seriously...those are not phrases normal people use.
Posted by: KFU | March 27, 2007 04:00 PM
For not being pompous as you so claim, your commentary rang dreadfully ostentatious good sir!
I say good day!
I said GOOD DAY!
Posted by: The Default Attorney | March 27, 2007 05:07 PM
Lat, please keep making fun of these LLM knuckleheads! Harvard, bleh! Go Bulldogs!
Posted by: anon | March 27, 2007 07:29 PM
Lat, please tell us the Taiwan LLM is female and hot.
Posted by: anon | March 28, 2007 05:24 PM
No havuhdian rejoinder from the euro wusses?
Posted by: anonymous | March 31, 2007 07:00 PM
MORE NEWS.THERE IS MORE ACTION ON THIS FROM THE OUR LL.MS THEY PULLED OFF A SANJAYA MOVE AND VOTED BY A ONE VOTE MARGIN THE WORST ASIAN GUY NAMED OSCAR ROM THE CLASS TO GIVE THE LL.M COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS HE IS THE MOST DISLIKED GUY NAMED WHO CAN HARDLY SPEAK ENGLISH CLEARLY AND ALWAYS DOES LEWD JOKES ABOUT GIRLS AND ANY WOMAN HE CAN TALK ABOUT. ELECTING HIM WAS DONE AS A JOKE BY SOME PEOPLE TO JUST PISS OFF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE CLASS AND IT WORKED. THEGUYIS NUTS. I WISH WE JDS HAD AS MUCH FUN AS OUR LL.MS. THEY ARE CRAZY.
Posted by: ANON | June 5, 2007 04:51 PM
Hey anon, check this out...it's about that oscar
check out www.inquirer.net
http://globalnation.inquirer.net/news/news/view_article.php?article_id=70145
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view_article.php?article_id=70332
shame on him for being a publicity whore by emailing out to everyone his pathetic speech. Bet that he emailed this newspaper from his home country. thanks to him, asians and africans will be forever be labelled as leftover scavengers
Posted by: anon2 | June 9, 2007 09:24 AM
SOURGRAPING EUROPEANS?
Posted by: anonymous | June 15, 2007 11:02 AM
Way to go 4:51. Next time you pretend to be a JD, remember that we real JDs don't spell "LLM" with a period like "LL.M". And at least make your whining credible, like, don't say the guy who gave your grad speech can hardly speak English because he's Asian. Don't drag us into your mess, bitches.
Posted by: anon | June 16, 2007 12:51 AM
The guy can speak english alright. Get this guy a doll.
From: otan@law.harvard.edu
Date: 02/19/2007 10:33PM
Subject: PLEASE HELP ME SIN
I am currently undergoing a personal crisis. I had a Chinese New Year lunch with a Brazilian, and he reminded me that tomorrow is the last day of Carnivale. I am apparently not familiar with this tradition because it is nonexistent in East Asia, but I am informed that I will be unable to sin for FORTY days beginning Wednesday.
Tomorrow, thus, will be my last day to sin for several weeks.
Kindly help me sin tomorrow; I want to be sure I get everything I need to do done before Wednesday. I wouldn't want to miss something and then go through withdrawal symptoms.
I approached a prim and proper English girl, but she just told me to eat chocolate. A Frenchman told me that the secrets of France cannot be revealed. An Italian told me he is not very Catholic so he can continue to sin. A Spaniard told me not to trust a Brazilian.
This is a wretched state of affairs, and I would appreciate any assistance you may be able to render. I am talking major immorality here.
Thank you very much.
Oscar
Posted by: anon | June 16, 2007 03:49 PM
ROTFL. Was that the spoof email that made it to the parody? It beats SSMM for sure.
Posted by: anon | June 17, 2007 12:16 AM