Sole Sisters: Shoe Shopping with the Gals at Bryan Cave
If “attorney-client networking” conjures up images of bars and baseball games, prepare to give those expectations the boot. The shoe is on the other foot at Bryan Cave:
For the 53 shoppers who attended a “shoe event” sponsored by law firm Bryan Cave LLP on a recent Tuesday evening — all of them female lawyers and their female corporate clients or friends — getting to know one another while browsing designer shoes was a refreshing change from being the lone woman at a client dinner or sports event.“The shoes were an icebreaker for starting conversations,” says Elizabeth DaSilva, managing director, Global Trust Services, Americas at Bank of New York. She mulled a pair of high-heeled evening pumps but quickly turned her attention to the other shoppers. “It was the first opportunity I’d had to talk to lawyers my firm uses about something other than an immediate work assignment,” adds Ms. DaSilva.
It’d be easy to mock this kind of thing, and we’re not above that. (Firms, embrace the girly! The Pillsbury Winthrop Bake-Off! The Stroock Stitch ‘n’ Bitch! Quilting with Quinn Emanuel!)
But in all seriousness, we’re totally in favor of some girl-on-girl bonding action.
In a perfect world, all of us would enjoy the same androgynous pastimes, but the reality is that men and women often gravitate toward different activities (see, for example, this article positing that 90 percent of golfers are male because the game is “the modern version of Pleistocene hunting on the savanna”). There’s nothing wrong with firms recognizing that business development needn’t always involve liquor and/or ritualized combat.
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A few years ago, I was invited to a function sponsored by a large-ish law firm for its female clients. It was at a snooty pants upper east side club, where we learned about artisanal chocolate and how to pair the right wine with them. It was fun, though a little strange.
Combine liquor and shoes, and you'd have me at hello. (Actually, at "liquor.")
I don't understand - how are you supposed to mingle without liquor and ritualized combat? Can you drink while fighting over the last pair of Moschino ballet flats or something?
Now THAT's an ATL article!
It's "Stroo[c]k."
Did Bryan Cave pay for the shoes? I don't really understand this. Was it like a cocktail party, too? Or just walking around a store looking at shoes?
I hope I don't work at a firm that comes up with such patronizing events. "Well, all women are fashion-obsessed ditzes who love shoes!"
All the women I'm interested in dating are "fashion-obsessed ditzes who love shoes!"
Meh,
I can assure you that the women partners and associates themselves are the ones who came up with this idea. It all started a few years ago when some firms started doing women's only events at spas, etc. to draw in female clients who were sick of going to sporting events. I think now firms are trying to come up with new and different ideas.
This one sounds sillier than most, but if the firm was paying for the shoes, I'd be all over it!
I doubt the firm would pay for the shoes. At most, they probably offer a discount. The firm likely paid for the cocktails, the location rental, the sex and the city dvds that played in the background, and maybe a few quippy gay guys well versed in celebrity gossip to roam around the place and boost the ego of the women by telling them how "fabulous" they are.
I understand that the intentions were probably not to imply anything about female attorneys, or women in general. But I think it's striking that this is what they came up with --- not a women's only cocktail event at the met, not a trip some exhibit, a sail around manhattan, i dunno. I wouldn't go to an event like this if I had the real choice (plenty of the women probably decided to go in spite of the shoes component, not because of it).
The whole women = shopping, men = sports false dichotomy is so stupid. I've actually been to sporting events sponsored by law firms, and SHOCK! AWE! some women actually like sports, and some men don't! Amazing! Who woulda thunk it?!
Jonb is bang on with his assessment, tho.
11:51...I concur. The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks.
Okay....a few points:
1. I love shoes. Shoes+discount=I'm there.
2. I agree with the prior poster who said they probably asked the Bryan Cave female associate/partners what they wanted to do. My firm asks around every so often about these types of events. We inevitably do a cocktail hour at a museum or something but a small contingent of us always suggest a spa/ski day. So far no luck. Next time I'm going to suggest shoes.
3. Those are gorgeous shoes in the picture. I'm too pink (in tone) to wear them, but if they had them in black I would so buy them.
Because i'm sure 11:51 and 12:34 are fine, desirable specimens... lol
Can anyone confirm whether or not Bryan Cave paid for shoes or whether they just offered a discount? I'd be very interested to know that.
what would be the male equivalent? Gun shopping?
Guns?
I'm there.
Meh - I'm with you. I'd be pissed if my firm sponsored this kind of an event for female attorneys. We have some female attorney-only events and they're generally just drinks and some fancy appetizers.
Also, it's been my experience that lawyers generally aren't that fashionable and/or willing to spend an insane amount of money on shoes. I've got no problem with that, but this strikes me as an odd event beyond its patronizing gender-specificity.
12:34
Nice quote!
12:34
Nice quote!
I have to return some videotapes...
1:36,
Why is it patronizing if the women of the firm decide they want to host this type of event? I know for certain that many, many female lawyers do care about the way they look, even if they just reserve their stylishness of time outside the office. And women like to shop together: it's one way women bond with each other. The point of these client events is to get to know a client personally in order to develop stronger ties and thus get more business from them.
Guys like to watch sports together on the weekends; women like to go on shopping excursions. If men can apply their bonding activities to their work relationships, why can't women?
It really annoys me that women have to act like they're not feminine and "girly" to fit in. That's what patronizing: the idea that women have to behave a certain way to be taken seriously. Men at firms never have the problem of feeling like maybe their acting too manly by high-fiving each other all the time.
1:36, I think the fashionability of female attorneys differs by firm and office location. At my firm's Orange County (CA) office, the women are overwhelmingly stylish in well-fitting clothes and high, pointy-toed pumps. This sort of an event would be a hit (though it happens informally at the mall across the street anyhow).
Just because you love shoes doesn't mean you're a ditz... jeez.
Here's a link to a copy of the article that works, unlike Lat's:
http://www.sddt.com/News/article.cfm?SourceCode=20070329crg
Note that this article is almost a month old already. It was the front page of the Marketplace section in the WSJ.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure Bryan Cave didn't pay for the shoes, because the article specifically mentions attendees choosing not to get any shoes.
Oh, and 1:00pm, I actually know some people at a big investment bank who occasionally take their clients skeet shooting. One of their clients bought the whole group shotguns for Christmas, but they had to return them to keep from violating gift policies.
I dunno. I think there's something inherently disconcerting about gender-specific outings. I guess if the women chose to do that, then it could be empowering, and I'm sure it's nice to get away from the boys. Tell you the truth I would rather go shoe shopping than play poker or golf with all male co-workers.
girly girl/1:52,
You are who you are, I am who I am. I DON'T like to shop in groups, i bond with my female friends otherwise. Why are you making this assumption about me just because i'm a woman? That's what's annoying -- the implied assumption that women like to shop for shoes. I know plently of guys who hate sports and they hate guy-sports implication as much as i hate the women-shoes/shopping implication.
Your assumption that all women love to shop for shoes (and all men are high-fiving, sports-watching jocks) perhaps speaks more about your own environs and prejudices than it actually reflects the preferences and behaviors of all men and women attorneys out there.
girly girl/1:52,
You are who you are, I am who I am. I DON'T like to shop in groups, i bond with my female friends otherwise. Why are you making this assumption about me just because i'm a woman? That's what's annoying -- the implied assumption that women like to shop for shoes. I know plently of guys who hate sports and they hate guy-sports implication as much as i hate the women-shoes/shopping implication.
Your assumption that all women love to shop for shoes (and all men are high-fiving, sports-watching jocks) perhaps speaks more about your own environs and prejudices than it actually reflects the preferences and behaviors of all men and women attorneys out there.
Meh,
Don't get your panties in a bunch. I did not make this assumption about you or about all women. I said women like to shop for shoes. That is not an all inclusive statement. Forgive me for not including any disclaimer that my comments of course do not apply to every man and woman. But it does apply to many men and women. In fact, my boyfriend is one of those men who doesn't care for sports and complains about having to pretend to care at firm events. I love sports and drag him to baseball games all the time. I also prefer to shop alone.
My point in all of this was that if these women CHOSE to put together this event in this way and chose to attend, then you are wrong in saying that it is patronizing.
My point was also to say that because women's views have not been included into law firms' cultures to the extent that men's norms have, the idea that women would act like women is so shocking that we are surprised when women get together for something like this. At my prior firm, the men on my group (and they left me out of this one) organized a hunting trip. How is shoe shopping as a client event more odd than going out to kill animals with clients?
Also, I hope you weren't making assumptions about my "environs"--born and raised in NYC!
A little late on this story, the WSJ ran this a month or so ago.
What is this, a fucking chick blog now?
Girly girl,
I hate to be an asshole about this, but "women like to shop for shoes" is all-inclusive, grammatically. If you didn't mean it to be all-inclusive, perhaps you need to practice transferring your intended assumptions and statements into sentences and paragraphs. I hate to be mean about this, but it's simply simple grammar.
If the women did actually choose this event, then instead of being patronizing, it is simply stupid because it's self-demeaning to send a message to your colleagues that when a bunch of women decided what to do as a fun event, they decided to go shoe shopping. It does not help your image. Maybe you want to act "girly" but the reality is that it doesn't help you look professional. Life is unfair. I wish it weren't so, but it's true. It's sad but true also that women are perfectly capable of being self-demeaning and sexist towards other women and themselves. See, e.g.,
"Don't get your panties in a bunch." -- Girly girl.
Meh - agreed. Fine, the women at the firm chose the event (undoubtedly unanimously and without any reservations in the ranks). It's unfortunate that they wouldn't recognize how this kind of an event would confirm negative stereotypes about women. Okay, it's a networking event that's not intended as some feminist gesture. It's naive, though, to believe that male associates/partners aren't laughing up their sleeves at this kind of an event. Sadly, hunting doesn't make you seem like a vapid jackass the way that shoe-shopping does.
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Raise your hand if you work with any male attorneys who have gone to a strip club with co-workers or clients after a firm-sponsored event.
This story is really old. I think Lattman already covered it weeks ago. This blog is now boring. I'm checking out.
I heard that in response to the shoe party for women, Bryant Cave may hold a pants party for men lawyers and men clients. They're going to have one of those old Italians walk around and check everyone's inseam while the men lawyers and clients have scotch and El Primio cigars. I don't yet know where they're going to hold it, though. Maybe they'll rent out the Men's Warehouse in the Empire State Building!
11:33
(1) going to a strip club does make you look like a tool to the rest of yout coworkers
(2) was it firm-sponsored?
(3) Frankly, you chose and continue to choose the firm you work for -- if everyone there is a strip-club going a-hole, switch firms! Not all firms are like that.
What is an el premio cigar?
This video is on point regarding perceptions of shoe-loving women LOL
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4455293050390325271&q=omg+shoes
Pants party! Hah! El Premios for all!
So I'm a little late.
Screw gender politics - If I'm getting discounts on Christian Louboutin's stacked-heeled stiletto peep-toes, I'm there and I could give a crap about what others think about my feminist cred. Additionally, if there's a luxury box at a hockey game I'm there as well even if I am the only woman. Perhaps this highlights a need for greater variety in networking events in general to appeal to a wider cross-section of individuals. If sports and shopping are alienating so may associates then they probably are alienating an equal proportion of clients.
Until then I'll dream about my own version of networking heaven - shopping this season's Jimmy Choo's with some 21 year old scotch and an El Primo!
As a former "Caver" out of New York, I can tell you that there are some VERY' stylish women who work at the Firm (and some very stylish males, as well). That said, no one made the attorneys or their female clients attend -- it was an invitation... and, from what I hear, VERY well attended.
And as for whether all or some purchased shoes, they chose to attend because they liked the IDEA of an event without the hard core hard sell of the men... Business is business and everyone there knew it -- and it was apparently quite fun as well.
As for shoes v. any other "gathering" event -- it very well could have been wine, cigars, chocolate or a pitch for some "green" organization. The whole object was for "the girls" to get together, mingle, chat and (ugh) "bond".
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