That is funny - staring at another guy's Johnson is not cool and should be punished as a first degree sexual misconduct.

If by smartest you mean most arrogant and least willing to listen to other people speak, you are correct, at least with respect to the first two.

"That is funny - staring at another guy's Johnson is not cool and should be punished as a first degree sexual misconduct"

What about just "looking" or even "glancing?" How long eye contact becomes a "stare?" What if it is inadvertant? reckless? What if both parties are straight? gay? What if only the "looker" is gay? Only the "lookee?"

All this is to say that your proposed, cursory rule is vague and open to much interpretation.

"All this is to say that your proposed, cursory rule is vague and open to much interpretation."

Nonesense. It is a simple, fact-driven inquiry that asks "was the eye-to-member look intentional and non-consented." These elements are familiar from general harrassment tort law in general and follow reasonable man standards. Orientation is not a major factor.

"was the eye-to-member look intentional and non-consented."

So standing too far from the urinal and having an erection is assumption of the risk?

I had this happen to me at an airport once. It was freaky. After stealing a glance, the dude asked me if he could fellatiolicious on my coxin.

I was so flabbergasted that the only thing I could think to say was "DUDE!" - that frightened him off.

"So standing too far from the urinal and having an erection is assumption of the risk?"

This is a woman. All men know you can't pee with an erection.

"This is a woman. All men know you can't pee with an erection."

Who said he was peeing?

I think you are contributorily negligent (and therefore no recovery) if you go to a bathroom and pee next to a dude who you know is playing for the other team.

It is possible to urinate erect (or at least semi-erect), aiming however...

2:07 I concur.

Sometimes people just can't help staring at mine. I don't blame them.

I was caught a guy at my law school checking out my pickle. i confronted him but he just denied it and said he turned that way because he had to sneeze.

"I think you are contributorily negligent (and therefore no recovery) if you go to a bathroom and pee next to a dude who you know is playing for the other team."

If there are only two urinals (or it's a trough) and I've really gotta go, that shouldn't give a voyeur license (gay or straight) to intentionally ogle my junk.

Kudos to the witty collection of comments!

I honestly always feel very uncomfortable exposing myself when I urinate knowing that a gay man might be lurking to check me out.

"Orientation is not a major factor."

well... the few times I've actually caught a guy looking at mine in the shower or locker room, I didn't feel harrassed. But I'm pretty sure that's because I knew they were straight. If I knew the guy was gay (or it was a woman), I would have had negative feelings. So I think orientation is a factor.

Yet another reason to Know Thy Urinal Etiquitte!!

http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php

I am not so sure that gay people are more likely to take a free peek than straight people. Is there any empirical evidence to back this up?

Is there empirical evidence to support the fact that straight men like to look at women's boobies more than gay men?

Oh come ON....

I am gay, and I have discussed this with my gay friends on a previous occasion - and it turned out that we were all very concerned about being seen to ignore other guys in the bathroom at work for this very reason. I suspect this is the case for most professional gay guys.

Highway rest stops are another story, of course.

"Highway rest stops are another story, of course."

note to self: bring large bottle on next trip on Jersey turnpike.

The judge that wrote the opinion?

Wood, of course.

I hate it when they try and look without asking first.

This is the reason why I always sit on the urinal instead of stand...

2:23--

Good call. People need to know to leave a buffer urinal between themselves and the next guy.

Have some sympathy: the only time a gay guy with a lazy eye could get a look at another johnson would be to catch a looksy at the urinals.

"Have some sympathy: the only time a gay guy with a lazy eye could get a look at another johnson would be to catch a looksy at the urinals."

yeh, but I'd rather him get excited about someone else's tools then mine.

2:21--I don't know about you, but if I catch a woman staring at the equipment, my feelings ain't negative. (I imagine that my homosexual compadres might feel the same way about men.)

Also, HE HAD A LAZY EYE. Hence, there does not appear to have actually been any staring in this case, only a homophobe who freaked out. I would fire the guy just for the poor judgment it took to think that sending that IM was the best way to proceed.

If women got as hysterical about people staring at our boobs as you avowedly straight men are about people looking at your weenies, the world would come to a screetching halt.

to anon 2:21:

what did you want the poor victim of the looksy to do. He had prima facie evidence of someone checking out his doorknob.

Assuming your comment was addressed to me, 3:54, I would have suggested that he speak with management about it, as their policy said he was supposed to do. Who sends an anonymous IM to a colleague on behalf of "the guys" like that? Not someone I'd want working for me.

straight guy was simply trying to spare gay guy embarrassment so he tried not to involve management.

Gee, I'm sure a gay guy would much rather get that crazy implied threat IM, and worry that "the guys" are going to beat the crap out of him in the parking lot after work. Much better. How about this numbskull not being a homophobe in the first place, hm??

numbskull??? The guy was victimized and visually raped by having a gay man stare at his power-tools.

4:21 has got to be kidding.

If they were indeed "power tools" then why be so shy?

I have a power tool. All the rest of you are just tools.

Is it ok to jerk off in the stall next to the urinals?

4:21: Visually raped??? Thanks, Jimmy Carter.

5:49: Yes. But wash your hands before meeting clients.

Fucking hilarious comments. And the plaintiff's case was EPIC FAIL to boot.

Maybe he should have written "hay u fag stop checkin out my dick or ima kick ur azz"?

WOOD, Circuit Judge. In this case, Todd Bernier thought that he was the victim of employee-on-employee, same-sex harassment at the workplace of Morningstar, Inc., an investment research firm. He claimed that Morningstar’s
failure to prevent his fellow employee, Christopher Davis (who is gay), from sexually harassing him amounted to unlawful sex discrimination. Bernier, however, did not alert Morningstar to his concerns through the complaint procedure Morningstar has adopted. Instead, he sent an anonymous instant message to Davis, who was alarmed enough by it to report it to company management. Human
Resources personnel traced the message to Bernier and by the following Monday, it was Bernier who found himself out of a job.

... The message, which popped up on Davis’s computer without warning, said, “Stop staring! The guys on the floor don’t like it.” Davis, under the impression that he was being harassed for being gay, promptly notified Morningstar’s Human Resources department. The following Monday, Human Resources personnel and Bernier’s supervisors
confronted him with the message; he was fired a few
hours after he denied having sent it.

I don't mind the gawking, but when the guy in the adjacent urinal reaches over and starts stroking my joystick, that's a little offensive.

go for it! jack me

Although real men don't go crying to hr, I'm not sure how I'd go about asking a co-worker to quit staring at my schwantz when I'm peeing.