Dating a law student now.

...

BAD IDEA. A lawyer/lawyer relationship is even worse.

Not too bad if they are in a different year from you...

How about Partners dating/having affairs with associates???

I don't want to date a woman that could possibly organize thier bitching into a coherent argument...

I'm at work for a majority of my day as it, the last thing I want to do when I'm home is have to deal with another lawyer. I enjoy hearing about my significant other's non-legal job and activities. I think it helps to keep me grounded and allows me to recognize that there is a whole big world out there besides the snow-globe of BigLaw.

LOL, 2:15.

2:15(2), you should have ended your sentence after "woman."

Lawyers and doctors should date painters and writers. Lawyers have no time and artists want all their hours to make stuff. By the time the lawyer and the artist get done with their stuff, they just want to enjoy life. Perfect.

Did ATL really just use "hells no" in a survey? Wow...

Arguments with lawyers tend to go much better than arguments with non-lawyers b/c you share a common framework. So I like these relationships.

I should note though, that this framework breaks down below a certain threshold. I once dated this chick who got her JD from USD, and arguments with her didn't work at all.

Don't get your honey where you get your money

What better way to raise a family than having two incredibly stressed-out, overworked individuals in the home every night? Oh wait, that assumes a big law lawyer is home to see his or her family! Ha! Oh wait, you can just pay to have someone else raise your kids - those silly bast**ds. That way you can BILL MORE!!

Lawyers dating lawyers = two people who know how to take out a restraining order on each other when things get ugly. Yuck.

Although, also two people who can draft and negotiate a premarital agreement.

The last thing I want to hear in bed is: hunny, how many hours have you billed so far this year?

Lawyers should date bankers; they wear the pants in our lives anyway.

female lawyers will scratch your back during rough sex

what about lawyers/paralegals.... or lawyers/summers?

My wife and I both work full-time and attend law school (at different schools) in the evening program. On the upside, she understands how I think and appreciates those little oddities that only lawyers can understand. On the downside, she kills me during arguments. She understands how to structure her arguments but still doesn't allow herself to be constrained by logic. It's a no win situation. I've just learned to start saying "yes dear."

2:23 -- Don't be mad cuz you haven't had any a** since. Although, in your case, it seems like you'd rather argue than have a good time.

I married another lawyer. Of course, she does patent work and I litigate, so it really isn't that big a deal... It is nice to have a spouse who understands the pressures of firm life and the ever-present billable hour.

"what about lawyers/paralegals.... or lawyers/summers?"

If it is a male lawyer then it is cool. If the lawyer is women, she must be a ho 4 sho.

In romance, you should follow your heart and/or junk. The longest-lasting couples I know, my wife and I included, have comparable education levels. Lawyer/doctor, lawyer/phd, lawyer/lawyer--it's all good.

2:20 PM - this is my life. And I love it. you're so right.

2:40 says, "She understands how to structure her arguments but still doesn't allow herself to be constrained by logic. It's a no win situation. I've just learned to start saying 'yes dear.'"

You don't have to be married to a lawyer to experience this. Laywives do the same, just without legalese.

I'm married to a nonlawyer. Whenever someone asks me whether my wife is a lawyer, I say, "No, she's a regular person."

3:13, I fucked your wife while you were at work. She was mediocre.

2:43 = 2:23's ex

If you are a dude lawyer, give some thought to marrying a teacher - those chicks are really sweet and caring - perfect to complement your own insufficient affect.

if you finally entertained one of the incessant calls from a headhunter and agreed to meet, are you cheating on your firm?

3:13, that's great - I will have to steal that.

Should Lawyers Date Other Lawyers?

Probably not.

And if they do, they definitely should not procreate.

3.13-

I tell them she's a "civilian" or "non-combatant."

i am about to marry one in a few months. we met in law school. she is GREAT! I think it is tough to marry another BIGLAW lawyer, but if you marry a lawyer who is not BIGLAW then life is much easier. also if you move to another city where the hours are more reasonable that also makes things better.

3:17,

I think you are the problem. I shagged 3:13's wife and had one hell of a good time.

2:18 -- I married a lawyer and we don't talk about work all that much. We actually have other interests outside of the law and understand that indeed there is a "big world" out there, and with the money we make as lawyers we actually take nice long vacations and are able to see that big world.

I'm engaged to a fellow law student, and we practically never talk about the law. Except to gripe about how other law students generally suck. Otherwise we have a strong policy of not talking shop.

2:15(2)...

"I don't want to date a woman that could possibly organize thier bitching into a coherent argument..."

I don't think a woman would want to date someone with extreme misspellings.

if you can find a woman lawyer who has the qualities a good girlfriend, then go for it. that's a big if though. most of your colleagues are only suitable as slam hounds and even that is a reach.

Associate/law student relationships seem the most pleasant, but any lawyer/lawyer combination tends to suck.

At least the prenups are tight.

My wife is a doctor and I would recommend it -- particularly over a female lawyer (nothing against female lawyers just wouldn't want to marry one).

Its nice to come home and talk with someone who has a career with real meaning and purpose.

I aspire to marry a female attorney because of common interests, passion for the law, etc. Most of the comments on here assume that strong female attorneys are vicious and prone to subjugating their male counterparts. That is far from true.

To me, strong, assertive, professional women (in law, business, etc.) are sexy and attractive. My opinion is one of many, though, but at least tone down the claws, people. Professional women have these negative stereotypical attributes and reputations because you ascribe them!

2:43: I'm sorry about that whole thing with your sister. How many more ways can I apologize?

Am I the only one who hears the screams and the strangled cries of lawyers in love?

3:57, I suggest you finish first year before you start thinking about a lawyer/lawyer relationship.

It depends. If you have two litigious types, the arguments will escalate, because neither will give in. If you have two Biglaw cogs, they may never see each other enough to even call it a marriage. But if at least one has a more normal schedule and they are more easy-going, it can work - and be better than a lawyer-non-lawyer pairing.

My husband is a lawyer, and we've been married over 5 years. I don't think I could be married to a non-lawyer with my current job, because only a lawyer understands when I work late almost every day, can't make mid-week plans, and have to carry my blackberry everywhere I go. Heck, that kind of schedule can strain even a lawyer-lawyer relationship, but at least the lawyer spouse can understand that it's the firm's or the client's - not their spouse's - fault. He understands because he was once a biglaw cog, but now he is a government lawyer with a normal person's schedule. If I were married to another professional, like an accountant or doctor, it might work, but their long hours wouldn't match my long hours, so it would be even more time spent apart.

Plus, when I complain about my job, my husband has a decent chance of understanding what I'm talking about.

should lawyers date other invertebrates?

I love 4:06.

4:06: Very funny. I can hear the cries of the lawyers who cannot express their feelings unless the sentiments are formatted into a complaint/motion/brief.

I'm pretty sure that I can only date lawyers because alike most lawyers, my life revolves around my job. With nonlawyers you can't just tell them the shitty thing that happened at work today, you have to explain why its shitty and why its ridiculous and by that point, you're both bored. Also, law school is a really bizarre experience with bizarre characters and only other people who went to law school would understand that and why you're still friends with those people.

nobody -- including lawyers -- should date lawyers (just like psych majors).

4:26: Exactly. It's a special kind of hell only lawyers can understand.

Never get your meat at the same place you get your bread

Met a girl in college. Went to law school. Girlfriend was in law school a few years behind me. Law school screwed up her head. She became very argumentative. She also started looking like a lawyer. It has been 8 years. She is still single, and will most likely remain that way for the near future.

Marrying a former lawyer, part time lawyer, or in house lawyer is fine.

Lawyers should not date other lawyers. It would tempt them to marry, which is inbreeding: such a marriage produces retarded children, and more alarmingly, more lawyers.

3:57,

You wrote: "To me, strong, assertive, professional women (in law, business, etc.) are sexy and attractive. My opinion is one of many, though, but at least tone down the claws, people. Professional women have these negative stereotypical attributes and reputations because you ascribe them!"

You are a woman.

Not married to a lawyer and loving it especially because she has reat tits- most female lawyers are utter train wrecks in the looks dept.

4:59, POST OF THE YEAR!!!!

There is a name for nice, normal, attractive lawyers: former lawyers.

bonus with dating lady lawyers; they seem to be into backdoor action a lot more than non-lawyers. Maybe cuz they get lots of practice at work?

duhs

to f*ck fellow lawyers is cool, especially at night in the office,to date them not so much

I'm a Biglaw associate married to a Biglaw associate at another firm. We met a couple of years before law school, which worked out great because we knew each other before law entered the picture.

We work in different practice areas (corporate & litigation), which works well because while we understand what each other does at work, we aren't in competition and we don't have to hear about our own practice area when we go home.

Like 4:14, I don't think I could be married to a non-lawyer with my current job and career goals. My husband understands why I have to work late, why I often break plans at the last minute, why I can't count on being free for an entire weekend, why vacations are so difficult to plan, why I am in constant contact with my Blackberry, and why work comes first 99% of the time. And I understand all of those things in the context of his job. That's not to say that those things never interfere, but we both experience and understand them.

There are certain weeks when we don't see each other a lot (when a deal is closing, when discovery is ramping up or trial is approaching), but overall, it works out. We're able to have dinner together several times a week, and we spend most of the weekends together. We also travel extensively and can afford to do so in style.

But most of all, it works because we both understand the pressures and expectations of each other's firms - because we face the same or similar ones at our own.

If we have 1 or 2 kids, we'll happily pay a nanny so I can return to work. There's nothing wrong with hiring a nanny who is skilled at childcare when I'm not. My kid(s) will benefit much more from having a happy lawyer mom with a career and a nanny than a stay-at-home ex-lawyer mom who is miserable.

And yes, 2 Biglaw salaries is nice. But its the only way we can handle 2 sets of massive student loans right now. Don't forget about the marriage penalty either -- it significantly hurts a Biglaw couple - we owe about $20,000 for last year's taxes now that we're married!

"slam hound" - hahaha lots of those in my law school...

5:06 -- like I'm sure you're the spitting image of Brad Pitt. Nitwit.

@5:06 - hey, nothing wrong with a little female lawyer on female lawyer love.

DC Biglaw - you need a new accountant. There isn't a marriage penalty for 2007 - standard deduction problem has been solved.

Let's face it - only losers who can't get women/ men outside a law firm go out with other lawyers. It's easy. There are so many scanks in the ranks, and guys who'd shag anything in absolute desperation. Go to a bar, meet people outside your circle - get out of your comfort zone. Saying that it's great to be married to a lawyer because they understand me is just another excuse to keep the 'love in the firm'. If you find someone who really loves you, then they'll understand you - or maybe you need to rethink your work-life balance if you feel you need a life-partner who understands that your life is so screwed up! loves and kisses

I'd like to introduce as Exhibit #1 why biglaw women have trouble getting or staying married:

"There's nothing wrong with hiring a nanny who is skilled at childcare when I'm not. My kid(s) will benefit much more from having a happy lawyer mom with a career and a nanny than a stay-at-home ex-lawyer mom who is miserable"

6:03,

big law = happy lawyer Mom

AND

stay-at-home ex-lawyer mom =miserable?

You and your husband are pathetic.

If two lawyers making $160k each can't pay off student loans in two years, they have a problem.

7:55

It's also exhibit #1 why biglaw women make terrible wives, and even worse mothers.

DC Biglaw,

You are lucky to have found someone to marry you.

It is good for lawyers to marry lawyers. Who else won't notice the lawyer's lack of social skills and lack of self esteem.

Oh DC Biglaw, I totally disagree about the nanny. I'll happily quit my job in this miserable profession to make sure that my kids don't become cokehead sluts because mommy and daddy weren't around to notice that they started banging their friends at age 13. Your children, when you have them, should be put first - not some stupid irrelevant closing. Don't just have children because you're "supposed to" if you don't think you can or want to mother them.

I'm a biglaw lawyer engaged to another biglaw lawyer and I agree with 6:03. It's nice to be with someone who understands the demands of the job, understands your gripes, your passions, your successes, etc. Non-lawyers who get home from their jobs at 6pm don't understand why their girlfriend has to work late and on weekends or dissapears during trial or has to cancel a date for an emergency request from a client or partner. It's also nice to have the income to be able to pay off our law school loans and still be able to live relatively comfortably, travel, and not eat ramen noodles at the same time. I don't think I'm going to be a terrible wife or mother. But no, I'm not going to be baking cookies at 3pm. I too would be miserable if I had to stay at home and give up my career. I didn't go to law school and work hard in biglaw for an Mrs. degree.

wtf 12:45--are you saying coke-head sluts are bad? get your head of your ass and have some fun.

1:17,

"I too would be miserable if I had to stay at home and give up my career."

How do you know?

When I was doing the big law 2500 hour grind, I dated another lawyer who had previously done the big law 2500 hour grind and moved on to a smaller, less stressful, low-hours firm. That was nice because (1) while he had time and was able to be flexible, (2) he understood why I didn't and wasn't. On our first date, I fell asleep. Then I broke 2 out of 3 of our next planned dates. Who but a lawyer that's been there would understand that it really is because of your job and not because you're trying to blow him off?

I know because I'm too type A and I get bored easily. I have been restless during periods of unemployment (between college and my first job, between bar study and starting, between lateralling from one biglaw firm to another, etc.) and during periods when work has been slow. I can't imagine the boredom of sitting home and watching Oprah and mopping the floors all day. I imagine I am not the only woman who went to law school and works in biglaw because they don't enjoy cooking, cleaning, ironing, reading Martha Stewart books, and watching talk shows all day.

Yes, that is what non-lawyer women do all day, read magazines and watch talk shows.

I'm not 1:17...but I concur with the statement that I would be miserable if I have to stay at home and give up my career. 2:15 asks how we know?

Gee, um, because we know our own personalities and what makes us happy?

Because maybe a large part of the reason anyone is in BigLaw is that they define themselves in large part by their success in terms of career pursuits?

Because if my highest goal in life was to be someone else's mommy, I might have gone to college to learn nutrition and early childhood development and not gone to law school?

Because I can't stand those other women who cling to their husband's "status" as their own measure of self-worth ("my husband is a partner in a big law firm...") instead of being out there competing with the boys?

Because I can't stand the women who talk about who is popular in the highschool and feel elevated if their kid is popular?

It's all so much living through other people...and I can't IMAGINE hanging out with them or becoming one of them.

I know I probably sound like a b!tch, but how many men would want to give up the ego-boost of a successful career and stay home to raise kids and go to "mommy and me singing class"?

How many men that worked their a$$es off to get into a T1 law school and then BigLaw don't get a bit of a kick when someone asks what they do and where they work and looks impressed when they tell them? Who wouldn't miss that if they had to say, "Oh I'm a home-maker" and get back an almost apologetic/embarrassed, "Oh! Well, that's nice...how lucky for you that you don't have to work"?

(For the record, I don't want and will not have kids so it's not a matter of improperly treating them, it's a matter of knowing I wouldn't be made happy by properly treating them...little league is SO boring. Better that I made lots of money and pay 38% in taxes to educate other people's kids, people who actually want them and want to deal with them.)

3:03 -- Right, they get their nails done and jazzercise too.

Well said 3:09!!

1:35, yes, cokeheaded sluts are bad...if they're your daughters. Otherwise, carry on.

In some cases, life circumstances almost require lawyers to seek to date and marry lawyers.

Let's say you're a successful female law student with a Biglaw offer, who's realized that she wants to stay home for as long as possible when she has kids. Only, you're saddled with exorbitant debt because when you chose where to go to school you were much more enthusiastic about the idea of a career.

You need a sugar daddy to pay off your loans, don't you? Someone who won't judge you for bailing on a career/loan payments and will appreciate you staying home with your kids.

Where do you find this guy? Although a classmate could work, is it possible what you need is for one of the partners at your future law firm to notice you? Suddenly you're a lawyer woman who's desperate for lawyer man. Only, he's looking at teachers and secretaries because he assumes all female associates crave an all-consuming career.

You're screwed, right?

3:44, get out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love my job but i need to date someone who can keep me interested in other things, instead of obsessing about work all the time. i like having lawyer friends to shoot the shit with and collectively bitch, but my job isn't my life and i occasionally need to be reminded of that fact.

i recently got my first lawyer crush though. i'm hoping it is a fleeting infatuation.

also, dating non-lawyers means i win all the arguments.

As sad a predicament as it is, a woman can't have a biglaw career and children. There isn't time for both. If having children (including what goes along with responsibly raising them) would bore you, don't have them. It will save everyone a lot of grief in the future.

Dating a fellow lawyer. I actually think it makes life much easier. Who else would understand a last minute cancellation on a Friday night because of a litigation-oriented deadline?

Use your salary wisely. When you get away...get away, and it will work out very nicely (the arguing will always be a pain in the tookus). Women have been mmaster arguers since the Dark Ages. It will not change!

All of the single male lawyers posting on this board and displaying misogny, igornace and deplorable thinking and writing skills better enjoy their biglaw salaries while they can because prostitutes and strippers are the only women they could ever hope to coerce to spend time with them.

"Women have been mmaster [sic] arguers since the Dark Ages. It will not change!"

To paraphrase Jack Nicholson, it's easy to argue when you've thrown reason and accountability out the window.

2:07, and the problem is?