Weird Law Firm Alter Ego of the Day: ZT Personal Injury Law
As recently mentioned in these pages, the internal slogan of the post-merger Locke Lord Bissell & Liddell is "One Firm, One Future."
Some firms, however, take the opposite view. We've just discovered a Southern California boutique whose motto might as well be "Two Firms for the Price of One." Or maybe "Corporate Work and Plaintiffs' Work: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together." A tipster tells us:
My friend just interviewed at a place called Zuber & Taillieu in Los Angeles. You know, Olivier Taillieu -- the guy who filed suit on behalf of the frat boys from Borat....
Ah yes, we do recall. Look back at this post. Engaging in Gallion & Spielvogel-esque self-promotion, Olivier Taillieu described himself as follows: "[Olivier clerked] for the Honorable A. Wallace Tashima on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, one of the most prestigious and sought-after clerkships in the country. Following his clerkships, he entered private practice as a litigator in the Intellectual Property and Technology Department in the Los Angeles office of O’Melveny & Myers, LLP, one of the top 15 law firms in the country as ranked by revenue by The American Lawyer."
Back to our source:
Well, get this. What that firm doesn't announce on their "corporate" website is that they have an evil twin: a plaintiffs' side alter ego, called ZT Personal Injury Law Group. Exact same attorneys, but this time, you can call them at 1-866-SUE-2-WIN. Pay particular attention to the language about penises and vaginas on the firm's Child Molestation page.It looks like this "O'Melveny spinoff" isn't doing QUITE the same caliber work as they'd have you believe...
Indeed. We checked out that "Child Molestation Law" page, which features such lovely words as "vagina," "rectum," and "penile penetration" -- not your standard law firm website fare. Here's an excerpt:
If someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, contact one of our child molestation attorneys today to find out what ZT Personal Injury Law Group can do for you. We offer a FREE consultation, and we don't get paid unless you win!
Well, look on the bright side: at least these ex-OMM lawyers are doing well for themselves. They're hiring more lawyers and expanding their firm -- which is more than can be said for the O'Melveny mother ship, with its rumored layoffs.
Update: As some commenters remind us, Olivier Taillieu was a contestant on that short-lived reality TV show, The Law Firm.
Zuber & Taillieu LLP [official website]
ZT Personal Injury Law Group [official website]
The Law Firm [Wikipedia]
Earlier: Still More About Borat
(46) Comments
This guy's listed as a partner - looks like he's 16
http://www.zuberpersonalinjurylaw.com/lawfirm/attorney_biographies/thomas_f_zuber_esq/
That guy was also on that terrible show that mimicked the Apprentice but was just attorneys. It was on about 2 years ago. In one episode he was handling an arbitration. When the judge issued the ruling he called the judge an idiot for issuing the worst ruling ever (or something like that). It was really bad.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Law_Firm
how can you be harsh on these guys? a bunch of young lawyers with strong resumes getting their own law firm off the ground... the partners look like they are in their 20s.
i'm honestly impressed.
sure they do some crappy plaintiff's lit for a few years while they build up /their/ firm. but the key is that all their hours are going to building something that is their own, not fighting tooth and nail to make partner at megafirm.
If they can get away with it, this is actually a great business model. Did I just say 'business model' on ATL?
People everywhere get injured all day! I don't blame him for wanting a piece of that action during the downturn. Here's a wake up call ATL readers: Christmas is over and business is business.
Gallion and Zuber should merge and form Gallion Zuber LLP, the most prestigiously prestigious law firm, in the United States, one of the handfully prestigious and successful countries in the world.
ZT Molestation Group:
We don't get paid, unless you got raped.
Their attorney bio page is totally bush-league. "Counsels"? That's a verb. The plural for "counsel" is still "counsel." Zuber, please.
Wow, Lat really has a bug up his ass about OMM.
The head dude said that he was in the top third of the class because he received the Harlane Fiske Stone award. Don't you only need to be in the top 1/3 for ONE SEMESTER? Any Columbia grads out there?
How is it that on the "corporate" website, Thomas Zuber's practice is "entirely transactional" and Lawler is a partner in the corporate and securities area, but on the "ZT Personal Injury Law Group" site, these two jokers are both listed as having extensive personal injury, med mal, and wrongful death experience?
I call SHENANIGANS.
The best - Associate Araceli Campos. From the website: "Outside of the office, Ms. Campos is co-producing with Eva Longoria (of Desperate Housewives fame) and others a feature-length documentary on the issue of immigration."
http://www.zuberlaw.com/lawfirm/attorney_biographies/araceli_campos_esq/
That website is pure gold. I especially liked this:
"With offices in Irvine, Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco, our dog bites lawyers represent clients throughout California, and throughout the world."
You know you've arrived as a "dog bites attorney" when your practice is international in scope.
"If you've suffered a severed finger, severed toe, lost arm, lost leg, or other amputation, contact a personal injury lawyer at ZT Personal Injury Law Group immediately."
Most folk'll never lose a toe, but then again some folk'll, like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.
and, 5:10, when "the world" is defined as Irvine, Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco.
The dog bites practice is booming in San Fran. King & Spalding just opened an office there to take advantage of that work.
"We checked out that "Child Molestation Law" page, which features such lovely words as "vagina," "rectum," and "penile penetration" -- not your standard law firm website fare."
_____________
There is nothing wrong with those words. I am totally offended that you are insinuating that "vagina" is not a lovely word!!!!!
Susman does PI too. I don't see what the big deal is.
I lost my toe from a dog bite in Bali. Can Susman handle my case? I think not! Only ZT Personal Injury Law Group has the kind of international amputation and dog bite experience to get me a huge cash recovery.
Perhaps ZT Personal Injury Law Group is hoping to generate legal fees from representing molestation victims?
Who at ZT Personal Injury Group can help me? My mother woke me up today and she poured a hot pan of grease all over my chest and my ass and genitals and I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off. It was very hurtful and I would like to sue.
5:02 -
Close; top 1/3 for 1 full year.
So they have "counsels" AND "of counsels"
Beat THAT
Tally-ho!
hello, how i can be of counsels to you?
1) Olivier is smoking hot. I'd hit that.
2) Olivier is clearly embarrassed about the fact that he went to GW (which is not a slam against GW, which is a perfectly good school -- just pointing out he's obviously insecure and emotionally stunted), and overcompensates by insisting that everything he does is prestigious. To paraphrase the Robot Devil, his bio lacks subtlety! He can't just announce how he feels! That makes feel me angry!!
3) Motherfucker. I shoulda gone to Columbia. I was easily in the top third of my class -- for all three years -- and all I got was a plain old JD. My diploma even says, in large font and all caps, "NO HONORS FOR YOU." But at least I am prestigious for being awesome.
4) The Borat guys are tools. I can write legal briefs drunk. Apparently, all of them put together cannot rival my prestigious intelligence and alcohol tolerance.
4:39: Do you mean Starla?
"Bluth Homes: Solid as a Rock!"
Zuber is doing some serious misrepresentation there.
"If someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, contact one of our child molestation attorneys today."
Now there's a business card I want to see.
Lat - please more on John McCain's lawyer-skank.
http://www.alcalde-fay.com/meet_the_firm/BiosDetail.cfm?id=84
I bet they are making money though.
Wow. Heinous.
I always thought personal injury attorneys were scum bags, but this takes it to a new level.
Speaking of which, has anyone heard anything about Latham & Watkins Personal Injury Group? I hear they're cleaning up...especially in the penis and/or vagina department.
Hey Zuber...just curious...can I call you for IP advice at 1-866-SUE-2-WIN?! Will you sue to win for me?
How about a motion for Suing to Win?
Wow. Heinous.
I always thought personal injury attorneys were scum bags, but this takes it to a new level.
Speaking of which, has anyone heard anything about Latham & Watkins Personal Injury Group? I hear they're cleaning up...especially in the penis and/or vagina department.
Hey Zuber...just curious...can I call you for IP advice at 1-866-SUE-2-WIN?! Will you sue to win for me?
How about a motion for Suing to Win?
To you practitioners out there, at what point do you stop listing "best moot court brief" and "associate editor" in your bio? By the way, isn't everyone an associate editor when they have nothing else to do on Law Review?
Wow. I think we've got something as low as those insurance defense losers.
"Kid got raped? Call us!"
I have to defend ZT (at least somewhat) here. I went to law school with Olivier and served on Law Review with him. He was extremely smart and seemed very on top of things. Some of his bio language is over the top, but his resume is solid, and I'm impressed with these guys for getting out there and actually working to build a firm from the ground-up - And from what I can tell, they are not doing that badly - The # of attorneys they have, and the pedigree of those attorneys, seems to indicate they will have a good shot at success.
With that said, the one thing I don't fully understand is "alter ego" approach and the two websites. It would seem that if they just toned down the marketing a bit on the PI suit, and emphasized their litigation/courtroom capabilities more on the main site, they could integrate the whole thing into one operation without really disrupting their business model. I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of with doing PI work - Look at most successful litigation boutiques, and you will often find that in the early years PI work and similar contingency work was what helped pay the bills.
Plainly, the best part of the website is first line of the bio for one of the "counsels", Edmund Schaffer (Harvard '70 JD/MPA), who is a little too old to work for these kids:
"Mr. Schaffer is a litigator of the very highest caliber, with truly vast and varied experience, and uniquely exceptional credentials."
http://www.zuberpersonalinjurylaw.com/lawfirm/attorney_biographies/edmund_s_schaffer_esq/
To you practitioners out there, at what point do you stop listing "best moot court brief" and "associate editor" in your bio?
never
http://www.utd.uscourts.gov/judges/jenkins.html
"in the early years PI work and similar contingency work was what helped pay the bills"
I agree...I think that when McDermott met Mr. Will, he probably said..."ya know what we need to do to build our reputation: focus on vaginas, rectums and penile penetration!"
Yes!
c'mon, no-one else thinks these guys are super cute? In a rabid, "aggressive," I want to sue you kind of way? I mean, their site swears they'll call you back! Tell me these aren't lawyers that care?
"To you practitioners out there, at what point do you stop listing "best moot court brief" and "associate editor" in your bio?"
"Associate editor" you keep. For "best brief" and other meaningless law school awards (meaningless meaning anything less than, say, moot court finalist), you stop at the point when you've done enough *actual* impressive legal work that listing "best brief" feels like listing your LSAT score.
If that takes more than four-five years-ish... well, you ought to stop and think about what that says about how you've spent your early career.
These guys are making TONS of money.
They were featured in a law.com article a while ago, too.
http://www.law.com/jsp/law/sfb/lawArticleSFB.jsp?id=1192784609269&rss=newswire
Oh, and Zuber has directed two movies that got picked up for distribution. http://www.legaci.com
Go ahead and mock them, but how many of you guys have the balls to do what they've done? They left biglaw to start their own firm and they're making more than most junior partners in NYC with plenty of time on the side to be on TV and make movies... not so bad (and no, I don't work there, or in CA)
5:02--It's "Harlan" Fiske Stone Scholar, and it is given annually. There is a GPA cut-off for this and the other award, James Kent Scholar.
Prestigitator--The Harlan Fiske Stone and James Kent awards go on transcripts, not diplomas. Nice wishful thinking about your getting into CLS. In the words of Cher Horowitz: "As if."
My 50+ regional firm has separate websites for different practice groups. And we have a plaintiffs' side med mal group. It's funny though, because the plaintiffs' lawyers end of the year take hope pay is waaaaaaay higher than the hourly "corporate" bees.
Wow, 11:13, you actually think I was serious? Have you ever seen a diploma that says "no honors"? I can't imagine even TTT doing that.
I mean, I coulda sworn the "Robot Devil" thing would've clued people in that my comment was about .0001% serious. I guess I'm guilty of overestimation.
Cute attempt at a swipe -- but if I'd actually wanted to go to Columbia, I would have taken the scholarship they offered me. I'm perfectly happy with my Chicago degree, which might be difficult for you to grasp since we ARE a whole two steps below you, according to that premiere review of legal academia, USNWR.