* Alberto Gonzales the opera. No, that is not a joke. [Gonzales Cantata]

* Have you ever wondered if your career would be going better if you were a lawyer in Korea? If so … you can stop worrying now. [The Chosun Ilbo]

* A lot of you have emailed me asking whether I hate immigrants. I do not. [True/Slant]

* California lawyers have a symposium where they can bitch about discuss the changing nature of the legal market. [University of San Francisco]

* “Your job, as a father, is to keep your daughter off the pole.” — Chris Rock. [Topix]

* Stop. Going. To law school. Please! [Dealbook]

Who is the publicist for Alberto Gonzales? Shouldn’t this person have warned the former attorney general about the perils of being interviewed by Deborah Solomon, the snarky, cranky, exceedingly direct interviewer for the New York Times Magazine? She’s not known for tossing softballs at her subjects.

To his credit, Gonzales didn’t shy away from the challenge. Read about the interview from yesterday’s Times, after the jump.

* Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally found a job! He’s going to terrorize the students at Texas Tech. [Houston Chronicle]

* Dewey & LeBoeuf snags three top tech lawyers from Cooley Godward. The three dealmakers wanted to make a splash with their switch, giving the Times DealBook juicy quotes like, “[W]e’re M.&A. lawyers, and we know how to do due diligence. And we believe Dewey offered a great opportunity.” [New York Times]

* The cold, dead hand of Heller Ehrman may rise from the grave to serve papers to Covington & Burling. [The Recorder]

* Lindsay Lohan’s fake tanning spray may not be an original creation. [Courthouse News Service]

* The lawsuits are crashing in after last month’s D.C. Metro accident. [DCist]

* Sarah Palin’s personal lawyer, Thomas Van Flein, responds! [WSJ Washington Wire]

Last year was the year of layoffs, and 2009 is not looking much better. Law firms are not the only ones hurting. From the Wall Street Journal [subscription] via the Daily Beast.

A December survey of US-based employers found that 23 percent expect to lay off workers in the next year and more than 15 percent expect to freeze salaries or hiring, cut spending on travel or training, or increase employees’ contributions to health care premiums.

We often wonder how those who were let go over the last year are faring in this dismal economy. The Austin American-Statesman brings us news from one of the more recognizable legal faces currently found in the unemployment lines: former AG Alberto Gonzales.

We’ve been following Gonzales’ desperate search for a job since last August. The latest news: still unemployed. He tells the Statesman:

“It’s a rough economy right now, and it’s a tough time for a lot of law firms right now. Obviously they are very careful about bringing on new people, and they are going to be careful about bringing on people where there are questions about things that may have happened in their past,” he said. “Over time, I’m confident those things will be resolved, and things will work themselves out.”

So he’s going to do what so many of us who are good for nothing else do: write. The tale of his forthcoming tale, after the jump.

Things are sort of looking up for former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. First, a speaking gig in the U.S. Virgin Islands. And now, Gonzales, who has been jobless since August, has a job!

From Bloomberg:

Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who was forced from his job amid a controversy over the firings of federal prosecutors, has been hired to provide assistance to a special master on a patent case.

Gonzales will help former U.S. District Judge Layn R. Phillips oversee settlement talks in the case of a Texas company which claims banks such as Wells Fargo & Co., Citigroup Inc.’s Citibank and Bank of America Corp. are violating its patents for taking and transmitting digital images of checks.

Phillips, in an order signed yesterday, said he needed Gonzales’s help because of the number of parties in the case and the “overall complexity of this litigation.”

And maybe because he feels badly for him. Since “special master” appointments are not permanent gigs, we’re calling this what it is: a temp job for Gonzales.

We hope Gonzales ensures that we can keep pulling up copies of our checks online. If not, we may lobby to have him sent back to the Virgin Islands indefinitely.

Alberto Gonzales to Help `Special Master’ on Check Patent Case [Bloomberg]

You might be wondering: at what law school? You don’t recall seeing Alberto Gonzales’s name on this long list of law school commencement speakers.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a law school. And it wasn’t in the continental United States. Our latest legal celebrity sighting, from the Virgin Islands Daily News:

Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who served in the Bush Administration until his resignation in September 2007, gave the commencement address at Free Will Baptist School’s graduation ceremony Friday night, delivering a personal story of how his persistent pursuit of education brought him the American dream.

Free Will Baptist School is a high school. And not a very large one, as noted in a separate article:

The six members of the graduating class, who became best of friends in their years together, promised family, friends and well-wishers who gathered at the Free Will Baptist chapel that they would hold the teachings of the Bible close as they take the next step in their journey to adulthood.

So apparently the former United States Attorney General will speak at high school graduations, to six graduates and their families. Does he do children’s birthday parties too?

In the past, ex-AG Gonzales has received a speaker’s fee as high as $40,000 per appearance. But we doubt that Gonzales, whose visit was arranged by “a friend of a friend” of school principal Stephen Beck, received such a large honorarium from Free Will Baptist.

Maybe a free trip to the Virgin Islands? If so, not too shabby.

Ex-U.S. attorney general describes to graduates his pursuit of American dream [Virgin Islands Daily News]
Six Free Will Baptist graduates move on with strong faith [Virgin Islands Daily News]

Times have been tough for former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. But maybe his luck is about to change. Here’s our latest “Eyes of the Law” celebrity sighting, submitted this afternoon by a Texas tipster (in a style reminiscent of Gossip Girl, which we adore):

Spotted: AG AG, at the Four Seasons in Austin, with a well-dressed old white guy. Was this a job interview?

[Gonzales] was walking out as I was walking in. He is somewhat diminutive. He was wearing standard (former) government employee attire: dark suit, white shirt, cheap tie. The white guy looked important.

But don’t they always?

Want to book the former Attorney General for a speaking engagement? You can do so through the Greater Talent Network. If Gonzales goes back into private practice, he’ll probably have less time to spend on the lecture circuit. So act now, before it’s too late!

Earlier: Alberto Gonzales Continues to Wander in Unemployment Wilderness

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. The economy must be bad if a former U.S. Attorney General can’t get a job.

And your life must be pretty bad if you’re a former U.S. Attorney General who can’t find a job, and some columnist in Austin is making lots of fun of you. John Kelso of the Austin American-Statesman wrote a column yesterday titled Maybe former A.G. Gonzales could get a job being paid by the hour to keep his mouth shut. AG AG’s frequent “I don’t recall” answers during Senate testimony provide inspiration for many of Kelso’s jokes:

What holiday do you think of when you think of Alberto R. Gonzales? With me, it’s always Mother’s Day. Why? Simple. Because with Gonzales, mum’s the word.

I feel sorry for anybody out there who can’t find a job, even a guy like Gonzales who is still making a bunch of money from speaking engagements. As bad as Gonzales’ memory is, he must use notes.

Maybe the problem is that when the job interviewers ask him what his last job was, he’s telling them that he doesn’t remember. Can’t say as I blame him. If I were him, I’d tell them I used to work at Denny’s.

It’s pretty traditional for law firms to bring former partners back after they’ve served in government — e.g., Mary Jo White and Debevoise, Michael Mukasey and Patterson Belknap — but AG AG’s former firm is apparently not biting, despite his having served as America’s top lawyer. A tipster tells us:

Several months ago, I heard that even V&E [Vinson & Elkins] was not interested in having Gonzales back – looks like there are no takers. How long do you think he’ll be able to support himself on speakers’ gigs?

Locke Liddell took Harriet Miers back. Apparently, endorsing torture and getting caught in the U.S. Attorney firing scandal is worse than losing the Supreme Court popularity contest and having many bad hair days.

In Searching for New Job, Gonzales Sees No Takers [New York Times]
Maybe former A.G. Gonzales could get a job being paid by the hour to keep his mouth shut [The Austin American-Statesman]

Time is running out on this month’s ATL Lawyer of the Year and Second Favorite Blog After ATL polls, both sponsored by ATL and Lateral Link.

So far, we’re up to just over 2,600 votes for Lawyer of the Year, and Wall Street Journal pick Loyola 2L is still going strong. Meanwhile, Barack Obama has a roughly 2.5 to 1 lead over Hillary Clinton, and Alberto Gonzales is stamping out civil rights stomping on music rights attorney Ray Beckerman … but pretty much nobody else.

On the blogging front, the Wall Street Journal remains the blog to beat, while Above The Law is still in second place and Volokh Conspiracy is on track for third, having opened up a hefty lead over Patently-O and SCOTUSblog. Write-in candidate Ms. JD has overpowered Overlawyered, and Likelihood of Confusion has turned the tables on Professor Bainbridge and is now closing in on Skadden Insider.

We’ll post the final results on Thursday.

But while you’re voting for the champions above, are you also voting with your feet at work? In last month’s ATL / Lateral Link job survey about 20% of you responded that you were considering leaving your current firms once you received your bonus. But that was before many of you knew what your bonuses were going to be.

So last week, we asked you whether your job searches were indeed underway. Find out if the answers changed after the jump.

In last week’s ATL / Lateral Link survey, we asked you to submit your nominations for Lawyer of the Year. Today, you get to vote!

The nominees, and select comments explaining why, are below:

Aaron Charney

For both the attention focused, success of action, and for the visibility [he] brought to the secondary issue of partner/associate relations (but not those kinds of relations).

Alberto Gonzales

Exemplifies why lawyers are so mistrusted in this country.

Barack Obama

The man had the credentials to do Biglaw. He chose public service instead. Although he is obviously politically ambitious, he at least appears to be in it for the people. He’s almost as hot as Judicial Hottie Jeffrey Sutton. I mean, did you see the Obama Girl videos? We’ve all got a crush on Obama. And he just might be president next year.

Hillary Clinton

She’s fabulous.

Loyola 2L

He’s generated the most thoughtful discussion of law school. That, and perhaps the publicity will help him get a job.

Ray Beckerman

For his tireless defense and continuous commentary in countless RIAA cases.

Whoever helps Chipmunk lady.

Because.

We know that last one should really be a 2008 Lawyer of the Year, not a 2007 Lawyer of the Year, but we just don’t care. You demanded the nomination right now.

So who should win? Cast your vote below.

Update: This survey is now closed. Click here for the results.

Part of a blogger’s job description is to shamelessly rip off stuff from the mainstream media. So we’re going to follow in the footsteps of the ABA Journal and the WSJ Law Blog, and name ATL’s first annual Lawyer of the Year. (Of course, it’s not that original an idea to begin with, insofar as it’s inspired by Time magazine’s Person of the Year.)

The WSJ crew is still accepting nominations, so we don’t know the identity of their pick. But the ABA Journal’s honoree for 2007, Alberto Gonzales, has generated some controversy. The Journal’s editor and publisher, Edward A. Adams, explained the pick to the Washington Post: “It’s about who has had the most effect in the world of lawyers this year. We’re not saying Gonzales is good or bad. We’re just saying this is the leading newsmaker in our part of the world.”

Additional discussion, plus how to submit your nomination for ATL’s Lawyer of the Year, after the jump.

He just wants your money. From the ACS Blog:

Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales will receive $40,000 for a speech at the University of Florida, according to the Independent Florida Alligator, UF’s student newspaper.

The November 19 speech will be paid for by student activity fees. (H/T The Blog of Legal Times)

Being an ex-AG: nice work if you can get it.

Gonzales to Receive $40,000 for Speech [ACS Blog]
Alberto Gonzales to Give Speech in Florida [The BLT]
Alberto Gonzales to speak at UF [The Independent Florida Alligator]

* Across the pond, Allen & Overy hopes to pick up recruits — quite literally. [Charon QC: The Blawg]

* One path to a judgeship: marry a prominent political fundraiser. [Daily Business Review]

* Alberto Gonzales and George Terwilliger should get along famously. [Washington Briefs]

* The fame of the S&C bonsai trees spreads, as ATL earns a shout-out in the Washington Post’s Express. [Read Express]

On Tuesday, we reported on several sightings of former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, in the vicinity of 13th and F Streets here in Washington, DC. Now we know what he was doing in that part of town:

[F]ormer AGAG has retained George Terwilliger of White & Case to represent him in the investigation surrounding his mismanagement of Justice. White & Case is on 13th between F and G.

So it looks like George Terwilliger, who was considered but passed over for AG, will get to clean up after Alberto after all.

Alberto Gonzales Hires Defense Attorney [AP]
Judge Alberto Gonzales’s Latest Hire [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: The Eyes of the Law: Alberto Gonzales

Here’s our latest legal celebrity sighting, for our occasional Eyes of the Law feature:

I’ve seen Alberto Gonzales walking the streets near Metro Center three times in the last month. Today he was walking with a blonde woman who was keeping a comfortable distance and not saying much. She looked like someone I should recognize, but didn’t.

Hmm… Might it have been Monica Goodling?

Or maybe not:

I think the blonde woman may have been his wife? [Ed. note: Our source directed us to the photo at right.]

All three times have been right around the intersection of 13th and F Streets. Today he was walking west on F Street, and the last time I remember he was walking south on 13th Street. He was with someone then too, but it was a man, and so obviously not his wife. Can’t remember the time before that.

Any idea what he’s up to these days? BTW: he looks taller on TV, but then again I guess everyone does.

True; the celebrities we’ve met generally look smaller in real life. But there are some exceptions. E.g., Bill Clinton (who is taller in real life than you’d expect).

Have you seen a famous lawyer or judge out and about lately? If so, please email us. Thanks.

Update: We now think we know what Alberto Gonzales was doing in that part of town. See here.

During his tenure as attorney general, Alberto Gonzales made it a policy priority to “keep our children safe” from creeps on the internets.

As it turns out, at least one alleged creep worked for the DOJ:

A U.S. Justice Department official has been arrested on suspicion of traveling to Detroit over the weekend to have sex with a minor.

John David R. Atchison, 53, an assistant U.S. attorney from the northern district of Florida, was arraigned in U.S. District Court in Detroit Monday afternoon.

An undercover officer posed as a mother offering her child to Atchison for sex, according to police.

And it gets worse:

The detective, acting as the child’s mother, allegedly arranged a sexual encounter between Atchison and her 5-year-old daughter, police said….

The undercover detective expressed concern about physical injury to the 5-year-old girl as a result of the sexual activity. Detectives said Atchison responded, ” I am always gentle and loving; not to worry, no damage ever, no rough stuff ever. I only like it soft and nice.”

If convicted and sentenced to prison, Mr. Atchison can try that line out on his new friends behind bars. But whether they’ll give it to him “soft and nice” is open to question.

Federal Prosecutor Arrested In Child Sex Sting [ClickOnDetroit.com]

No official announcement has been made (despite the claim of Wikipedia that “[o]n September 16, 2007, President George W. Bush nominated Mukasey to serve as the 81st Attorney General of the United States”). But numerous news outlets are reporting that President Bush has selected Michael B. Mukasey — currently a partner at Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler in New Yorker, and former chief judge of the S.D.N.Y. — as his attorney general nominee, to replace Alberto Gonzales.

We’ll have more to say after an official announcement, which could come as early as tomorrow morning. In the meantime, read Judge Mukasey’s interesting, frequently cited Wall Street Journal op-ed piece, on the Jose Padilla case (which he handled in part).

If you have firsthand experience with Judge Mukasey — e.g., as a litigant who has appeared before him, or as one of his law clerks — please share your thoughts in the comments, or by email. Thanks.

Bush plans to pick Mukasey for A.G. [Politico.com]
Bush Settles on Mukasey to Replace Gonzales [Washington Post]
Bush Expected to Name Judge as Gonzales’s Successor [New York Times]
Judge Top Contender to Replace Gonzales: Aide [Reuters]
Bush Picks Mukasey as Attorney General [AP]
Sources: Retired judge may replace Gonzales [CNN]
Jose Padilla Makes Bad Law [Wall Street Journal]
Michael B. Mukasey [Wikipedia]

Are you a Department of Justice employee? If so, why are you at your desk? Shouldn’t you be at the festivities in honor of Alberto Gonzales’s last day?

DOJ employees are invited to attend the Farewell Ceremony for Alberto R. Gonzales, 80th Attorney General of the United States. The ceremony will be held at 3:00 p.m., on Friday, September 14, 2007, in the Great Hall. For those unable to attend, the ceremony will be aired on JusticeVision and Justice Television Network.

It won’t be as riveting as the Monica Goodling testimony. But then again, what is?

Update (5 PM): A tipster who was there writes: “Just came from the ‘Farewell Celabration.’ Condi, who led the standing ovations, and Chertoff were the only non-Justice ppl from the Administration. Neither spoke.”

In other DOJ departure news, Regina Schofield — the (non-attorney) Assistant Attorney General overseeing the Office of Justice Programs — recently announced her resignation, effective September 28.

More here from Wonkette, whose commenters described her as “kinda hot.” Our Justice Department sources concur, describing her as someone who “takes care of herself” and is always “perfectly coiffed.” She’s also reportedly on the quiet side, perhaps unusual for an AAG, which makes her seem “alternately shy or imperious.” (So she’s no Shanetta Cutlar, who’s 0 percent shy and 100 percent imperious.)

If you’re curious, Regina Schofield’s full resignation message appears after the jump.

Top DoJ Official Resigns V Quietly [Wonkette]
Today Is Gonzo’s Last Day At DOJ [WSJ Law Blog]
Gonzales Ready to Leave the Stage [Washington Post]
Assistant Attorney General Regina B. Schofield Announces Departure [U.S. Department of Justice]
Remarks of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales Announcing His Resignation [U.S. Department of Justice]

Back on Tuesday, it was widely rumored that an attorney general nomination announcement was imminent — and that the nominee was going to be former Solicitor General Ted Olson (pictured at right, at his wedding last year).

But we had our doubts. We opined that Olson, confirmed as SG by a narrow 51-47 margin, might be a tough sell in a Democratic Senate.

That opinion looks increasingly solid. From today’s Washington Post:

The Senate majority leader said yesterday that Democrats would block former solicitor general Theodore B. Olson from becoming attorney general, kicking off a spirited nomination debate even before the White House has named a candidate.

“Ted Olson will not be confirmed,” Sen. Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) said in a statement. “I intend to do everything I can to prevent him from being confirmed as the next attorney general.”

So it seems that, with respect to Ted Olson, the Dems are throwing down the gauntlet. Why so hostile? Are they upset they didn’t get invited to Olson’s fabulous, star-studded wedding?

More after the jump.

Yesterday we opined that Judge Laurence H. Silberman would get the Attorney General nomination. Now we take that back.

After our post, a knowledgeable source informed us that Laurence Silberman isn’t interested in the job. A second source, who confirmed Judge Silberman’s lack of interest, added that he might be tougher to confirm that one might expect for a longtime federal judge. See here.

Then we came across this great analysis of the AG situation, by the ever-fabulous Jan Crawford Greenburg. She writes, over at her blog, Legalities:

The White House could announce as early as Wednesday its nominee to replace Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and former U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson has emerged as a leading candidate—despite initial concerns in the administration that he could face a tough confirmation hearing, according to sources close to the process.

Olson, a highly regarded Washington D.C. lawyer, has broad support inside the administration because of his deep experience in the Justice Department in two different presidential administrations. In addition to serving as solicitor general during President Bush’s first term, Olson headed the Office of Legal Counsel during the Reagan Administration.

This is consistent with what just went up at the Drudge Report:

FLASH: Ted Olson becomes frontrunner for Attorney General, top sources tell DRUDGE REPORT; announcement could be imminent… Developing…

But we’re not so sure. Remember when Edith Brown Clement looked like the frontrunner for the Supreme Court seat vacated by Justice O’Connor? This White House likes surprises.

More discussion, after the jump.