Above the Law

Open Thread: Your Clerkship Offer Is Coming

2008-09-05T22:00:56Z

Let us turn our attention to judges and the law students who do all their work. Monday marks the first day where judges can schedule interviews with clerkship applicants. ATL will be right there with the applicants, poring over the Clerkship Notification Blog.

The plan is simple, according to the 2008 Law Clerk Hiring Plan.

But just like last year the best laid plans sometimes go awry. According to a tipster:

The hiring plan seems to be falling apart. I knew it was already unraveling in 'flyover country' because judges there thought it worked to their disadvantage, but people here are talking about judges even in major markets (DC, NY, CA) who purport to follow the plan are at least calling early, if not offering early too.

How are applicants coping with the last weekend before the official hiring season? And who is already sitting on secret offers? Discuss, vent, or gloat below.

Earlier: Clerkship Hiring: Today's the Day

Non-Sequiturs: 09.05.08

2008-09-05T21:18:58Z

* No offer, no problem. Just hang a shingle. Or work for a small firm. Or ... dear God could somebody please fix this economy? [Greatest American Lawyer]

* Just once I'd like to see a judge run on a platform of "In my court, families are the real criminals." You know, like they do in China. [f/k/a]

* If you get drunk and ride a mechanical bull, people laugh with you. If you get drunk and fall off the mechanical bull and hurt yourself, people laugh at you. If you sue the mechanical bull operators for your public display of drunken buffoonery, lady justice weeps softly in the night. [Eater]

* What kinds of deductions can pimps claim? [TaxProf Blog]

* The LPGA backed off their proposal to suspend non-English speaking golfers. [Golf.com]

Somebody's Hiring

2008-09-05T20:51:34Z

One of the best things about getting a law degree is that you can really help people. People in need who are being railroaded by the system. People in power who are creating jobs for the economy. And occasionally, people suffering from perma-drunk on craigslist.

WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEY just graduated college and I was charged with a bull **** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax. ... What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested. ... I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.

I'd make a joke but I am so terrified of getting "barred."

Ad reprinted in full after the jump

]]> WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEY

I just graduated college and I was charged with a bull *** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax.

I left the bar in downtown Fairfax City and I was horseplaying with my friend and came to push him and he moved out of the way and I pushed someone's car mirror and broke their mirror.

Someone called the cops and the cops came. I was very cooperative and the last drink I had had was 3-4 hours prior to the arrest. I was NOT given any breathalyzer test, field sobriety test or blood test. The cop thought I was drunk just because my eyes were "glossy".

I have contacted the owner of the car and have paid the person in FULL for the damage I caused and have admitted to the damage.

This is my first charge of any kind ever.

What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested.

So if you are a brand new attorney, I will pay you to talk to the prosecutor on the court date to have him drop the charges. Because I can not talk to the prosecutor because I am not an attorney.

In your email, include your number so I can call you.

I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.

* Compensation: we'll discuss it
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

The law school saga begins(Or, Tips for 1Ls)

2008-09-05T19:45:02Z

The school year has begun for many a fresh-faced law student. Most 1Ls have likely performed the starting school rituals: they've bought their textbooks, chosen their classes, and watched "The Paper Chase."

Now that these lawyer wannabes have embarked on the three year quest for a J.D. (three years for now at least), it is time for sage ones to offer advice on making the most of the experience.

Around the web, there are various lists. Here are some of our favorite tips:

1. From the Listless Lawyer, "your only goal should be good grades."
2. From ClassBrain, "prepare to be mystified."
3. From the Legal Underground, "don't be an a--hole."

Of course, we also advise that you read ATL regularly.

All of you lawyers (who still remember your first year of law school), what's your advice? We invite you to share your law school wisdom in the comments.

Advice for 1Ls [The Listless Lawyer]
Eight Tips for New Law Students: Things They Don't Tell You At Orientation [Class Brain]
Five Indispensable Tips for Law Students and New Lawyers [Legal Underground]

Job of the Week: Appellate Litigation

2008-09-05T19:03:00Z

Do you want to work on U.S. Supreme Court cases? If so, check out this week's Job of the Week, brought to you by Lateral Link. Because Lateral Link does not cold-call attorneys, they devote all of their time to assisting their active members with job searches.

Position: Appellate Litigation Associate

Location: Washington, DC

Description: A top international law firm is seeking a mid-level to senior appellate litigation associate. This position presents an opportunity to become a significant part of a growing team of U.S. Supreme Court and national appellate litigators and to work directly with clients on substantial matters. This position qualifies for Lateral Link's $10,000 guaranteed signing bonus.

For more information about this position or to apply, please see Position 9296 on Lateral Link. Current members can also contact their personal search consultant directly to discuss this position. Membership in Lateral Link is free and you can apply at www.laterallink.com.

What Can You Do With A Law Degree? Join The Marines and Run For Congress

2008-09-05T18:03:16Z

Once you get into a top law school, staying on the Biglaw course requires determination, talent and a clear headed focus on your goals. Getting out of Biglaw requires all the same strengths, mixed with a little bit of crazy.

J. Ashwin Madia has been a law firm associate and a Marine, and now he's running for Congress. But like so many of us his journey started in the relative safety of a top law school. The friends of his from NYU Law might know him better as Jigar. Madia starting using his middle names when he joined the Marines.

The few Marines I've met all talk about a desire to give back to the community and Madia is no different:

My parents came to this country with $19 between them, and they bought an $11 bottle of champagne and they started with $8 in this country. So this was a small way to give something back.

Where Madia is different is that his post-bar trip was disturbingly similar to boot camp, insofar as he had to go to boot camp.

The marines are kind of unique in that if you fly a plane or drive a tank or are a lawyer, you all go through the same training. It was funny, after I took the bar exam I had 8 months of crawling around in the mud and shooting a machine gun and learning martial arts and learning how to be a rifle platoon commander.

Madia helped the Iraqi government formulate their legal system, focusing on getting suspected terrorists competent defense lawyers, fair trials, and if guilty, speedy incarceration.

He has also had more traditional legal jobs. After his tour with the in the Marine corps, Madia went back to Minnesota (where he is from) to work at Robins, Kaplan, Miller & Ciresi in their IP department.

But, you know, sometimes I would look out of the window there and just think of other things I could be doing.

More about Ashwin Madia and his G.I. Joe advice to Biglaw associates after the break.

]]> Madia, a Republican turned Democrat (Democratic Farmer-Labor party for those who know their Minnesota politics), is running for Congress in the Minnesota 3rd. Its is an open seat in a previously Republican district. Madia was a long shot to even win the primary, but the latest Survey USA poll has him within the margin of error in the general.

Madia credits his law firm for helping him compete in this race:

[O]ne of the biggest hurdles unfortunately for anyone getting involved in elected office is money. Its raising money. ... But I was very lucky because I had a group of pretty well off people who worked in law firms who wanted to help me and wanted to support me. So I was able to establish some credibility early on by raising quite a bit of money in a short period of time. And a large part of that was because both the partners and associates at Robins were so supportive.

Would you support a fellow associate running for Congress? Do you think your partners would? A lot of firms talk about supporting their associates in various extra-legal endeavors, but how many are really willing to make a cash investment?

Not surprisngly, Madia has some very direct advice for associates who are looking for something more than the Biglaw lifestyle offers, "just do it."

They just need to make the decision to do it and cut off all avenues of retreat. ... Chances are if they're working at one of these top law firms, they've been successful at everything they've ever done in their whole life ... so they have the skill set to do it.

Ashwin Madia will checking in on his old NYU haunts soon. He's holding a fundraiser at the Harmonie Club, Monday the 15th. Regardless of whether he wins or loses, it is some pretty interesting advice for anybody just "looking out of the window."

Musical Chairs: Cooley and Gunderson's Failed Romance

2008-09-05T17:28:00Z

Fans of Sex and the City will recall the famous episode in which Carrie was dumped via post-it note. If law firm mergers are like relationships, here's a tale that seems as classy as breaking up by post-it. [FN1]

The New York office of Gunderson Dettmer was all set to move, en masse, to Cooley Godward. The 30 or so Gunderson attorneys had new, Cooley-issued Blackberries and laptops, with new email accounts and software already set up. They were set to start this past Tuesday.

On the Friday before Labor Day, the main partner in Gunderson's NYC office simply called to let the Cooley crew know the move was off. This was not taken well by Cooley, since this had been considered a done deal for some time. The Gunderson lead partner did not even bother to call the CEO of Cooley, but instead called a relatively junior partner to break the news.

"Cooley is really pissed," according to our tipster, "but they are moving forward." Just like a jilted lover, Cooley seems to take the view that doing well is the best revenge: "They happen to be about to open a new office in a strategic location in the U.S., with a big bang, and with double-digit numbers of lateral partners as part of the potential deal."

There is a body of law that governs who keeps the engagement ring when a wedding is called off. Could it be applied by analogy to those Cooley-issued BlackBerries and laptops?

Gunderson did not respond to our requests for comment. We reached out to Cooley, which declined to comment through a spokesperson.

[FN1] We adore post-its, and we love those little colored flags even more; but they can't be used for everything.

Breaking: Judge Halverson Hospitalized After Frying-Pan Attack from Her Husband!

2008-09-05T16:16:00Z

Last month, after Judge Elizabeth Halverson lost her reelection bid, we lamented her imminent departure from these pages.

It seems that we spoke too soon. From the Las Vegas Review-Journal:

Embattled District Judge Elizabeth Halverson is in the hospital after she was assaulted by her husband, Las Vegas police said this morning. Her injuries are not life threatening.
Police were called to her house late last night to respond to a domestic violence call. Police said her husband, Edward Halverson, 49, hit her with a frying pan.

They always said the frying pan would be the death of her.

Edward Halverson was booked into the county jail on one attempted murder, one count battery with substantial bodily harm and one count battery with a deadly weapon.

This is not Ed Halverson's first brush with the law; he's a convicted felon. Judge Halverson may have been prescient when she nicknamed her hubby "Evil Ed."

Domestic violence is a serious issue. We wish Judge Halverson a speedy recovery from her injuries. (We also remind her that our offer of a column on Above the Law still stands.)

Judge Halverson hospitalized, husband jailed after attack [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

Law Firm Merger Mania: Nixon Peabody + Thelen = Nixlen Thelpea?

2008-09-05T15:14:52Z

Thelen has laid off attorneys and changed its name, the law firm equivalent of hitting the gym and getting a makeover. Now they're back in the club and looking for a mate.

Leigh Jones of the National Law Journal reports:

Thelen and Nixon Peabody are in merger talks, with a possible agreement pending, according to sources close to the situation. The law firms have been in extensive talks, with Nixon Peabody leaders traveling to San Francisco to meet with Thelen leaders, according to two sources.

Wasn't this the plot to the movie Made of Honor? Nixon plays the role of Dr. McDreamy, with its dulcet law firm song. Thelen is the cute platonic friend, who suddenly starts looking really hot when she's about to get hitched to somebody else.

Given the amount of coverage ATL devotes to these two firms, we wholeheartedly endorse the pairing. Maybe we could convince them to adopt a firm mascot -- Nixlen Kittens, anyone?

Thelen in merger talks with Nixon Peabody [National Law Journal via Law.com]

Earlier: Law Firm Merger Mania: Thelen Sending Out Feelers?
Law Firm Merger Mania: Everyone's a Winner at.... Nixon Pillsbury?

Nationwide No Offer Watch: Foley Didn't Get the Memo. 43% Offer Rate? Tastes Like Burning.

2008-09-05T14:10:19Z

Foley & Lardner. You've heard the rumors. We've heard the rumors. Foley & Lardner have heard the rumors and chosen not to respond. But the smoke screen cannot obscure the summer structure fire.

Multiple tipsters coalesced around these numbers: 9 of 21 Foley Chicago summers received offers. But six of those offers went to IP attorneys, leaving non-IP summers with a stunning 3 of 15 success rate.

I'm no mathlete, but that doesn't look like the 90% offer rate like we've been hearing from other firms.

And as we've seen with other firms, going to a top school was no summer offer safety net. Again, thus far the firm isn't talking so we can't know for sure, but it appears that HYS summers went 0 for 4 at Foley Chicago.

Read what people are saying below the fold.

]]> The tepid offer rate to '08 summers has not gone unnoticed by full time associates at Foley.

[W]e are all pissed about this (and, frankly, wondering what it means about the financial health of the firm). Management has refused to respond to our concerns or even offer a credible explanation for what the hell happened. They need an immediate wake-up call.

Hope this helps.

If this caught the regular associates by surprise, imagine how the summers felt. According to one tipster:

Foley & Lardner's Chicago office just seriously screwed over a ridiculous percentage of their non-IP 2Ls. ... they no offered about 80% of the class with very little warning (a vague meeting that left summers reassured instead of freaking out).

Not that freaking out would have helped the non-IP summers, but fair warning is fair play.

Other tipsters have suggested that Foley is still "reviewing" candidates, ostensibly keeping some summers in the dark about their future just as OCI gets going in earnest.

One ray of light: if we know about what happened at Foley, and you do, then it is a pretty fair bet that hiring partners do as well. At least Foley isn't making the case that 80% of its non-IP summers "underperformed."

The no offered summers coming out of Foley didn't get rejected, in a strange way they got laid-off, and that shouldn't be a black mark on anybody's resume.

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of no offers

Morning Docket 09.05.08

2008-09-05T13:22:10Z

* Senator John McCain had a tough act to follow after the electrifying Wednesday night speech by his VP pick, Sarah Palin. He accepted the nomination and promised that change is a-comin.' [Washington Post]

* Nearly 400 protesters were arrested outside of the Republican National Convention last night. For singing a Rage Against the Machine song? [CNN]

* A Texas inmate slated for execution next week says the judge and prosecutor in his case were too friendly outside the court. A hearing has been set to investigate the alleged love affair and the fairness of the trial. [New York Times]

* California voters like medical marijuana, but the courts and AG Jerry Brown are not the biggest fans. [Los Angeles Daily News]

* Arthur Culvahouse wins! [Law.com]

* The Kilpatrick saga has come to an end. This is a look at the three Michigan laws that brought about his downfall. [Detroit Free Press]

Google Chrome Owns Your Thoughts

2008-09-05T00:04:00Z

Google is getting into the browser wars with their new Chrome product.

As Futurelawyer points out, who needs a new browser (besides anybody who still uses IE)? But Chrome is made by Google and Google knows what they are doing so we assume the product will sell.

Take a closer look at the boilerplate Terms of Service Agreement, before you download the browser. We're not sure if Google's lawyers were trying to make hours or just drunk, but if they had their way, Chrome would own everything, everywhere, forever. From Valleywag:

[A]ny "content" you "submit, post or display" using the service -- whether you own its copyright or not -- gives Google a "perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute" it?

Valleywag goes on to list a bunch of other ridiculous rules that you "agree" to when you click "yes" on the internet.

I love it when clients go out of their way to create jobs for IP litigators. It's a faltering economy and everybody should be doing their part.

Update: Google has revised the ToS for Chrome. See here (via a commenter).

The 5 most laughable terms of service on the Net [Valleywag]
Google Chrome - Do We Really Need A New Browser? [Futurelawyer]

Non-Sequiturs: 09.04.08

2008-09-04T22:09:45Z

* Bad news for Jack Abramoff: he got four years. Good news for Jack Abramoff: they'll stipulate that "Tiny" can only bend him over and [redacted] then begin [censored] right before he [dear god no] and tosses his salad. So he's got that going for him. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A Texas judge invalidated the patent of NuBra, suggesting that a strapless bra that enhances cleavage yet can be worn under sheer clothing is not one of the top ten greatest inventions of this decade. [Fox Business via ABA Journal]

* Is Sarah Palin in favor of jury nullification? [Volokh Conspiracy]

* How come we never hear anything about building a wall across our Canadian border? [Overlawyered; Inside Toronto]

* Is the plaintiff in this case Svetlana Kirilenko from the Sopranos? [Supreme Dicta]

* A lawyer's guide to reading to your kids, in case you're up for partner. [National Law Journal (subscription)]

* Detroit, your long sexual nightmare is at an end. Finally the denizens of the city can go back to wishing they were somewhere else in peace and tranquility. [Detroit Free Press]

Outsourcing: Here's the Pitch

2008-09-04T21:16:00Z

Our recent post about outsourcing sparked some interesting debate about whether junior-level work will be shipped out of the country in the near future.

The commenters seemed to break into three camps: (1) you're an idiot, outsourcing is already here; (2) you're an idiot, ain't nobody gonna take my job, USA, USA; and (3) you're an idiot.

Fair enough on all counts. But wherever you stand on the issue it should be noted that people are trying to convince your partners to outsource, now.

Ron Friedmann of Integreon, a large legal process outsourcing firm, has written a treatise to convince firms to outsource the work most junior associates do for a living. He starts out talking in language managing partners love:

Until recently, firms emphasized revenue growth over cost reduction. They have merged, invested in marketing, added practice groups, and opened offices around the world. Now, however, with a recession likely, cost control is of growing interest.

Most people should know what "cost control" is code for. But let Friedmann do the double talk:

Outsourcing converts fixed costs to variable ones and avoids the need to borrow. Many law firms are under-capitalized. Partners may therefore want to avoid fixed commitments and to minimize borrowing. Similarly, law departments have small capital budgets and like to avoid locking in headcount. For both, outsourcing provides flexibility and avoids capital commitments.

Capital commitments? Like summer associate programs that offer rising 3Ls jobs over a year before they report to work? Great.

Friedmann tries to be funny, after the break.

]]> I love it when people suggest that taking work away is a great thing for the people who have lost the work:

Allows lawyers to focus on their "highest and best use," which is serving clients and winning new business. Eliminating managerial distractions from lawyers can let them bill more hours, thus boosting revenue.

I can't count the number of "managerial distractions" I faced in Biglaw. If only there had been somebody offshore reviewing all of my documents for me, I could have focused on writing briefs and representing my clients in court, instead of having to rely on the good graces of the senior partners to pick up my slack.

Friedmann then goes on to list every single job he believes outsourced attorneys can perform, which is pretty much every single hour Biglaw associates bill. Doc review, due diligence, legal research, drafting contracts ... all done more cost-effectively off-site or offshore.

There is one positive aspect to Friedmann's report, Biglaw associates; he is still trying to sell it. While he uses all the buzzwords and pie charts that we expect managing partners would like to hear and see, outsourcing is still a commercial, not a reality.

At least for now.

Why and What Lawyers Should Consider Outsourcing [LLRX.com]

Earlier: Extinction Level Event: Outsourcing

Calculate Your Obama Tax Cut!

2008-09-04T19:20:00Z

Did you watch Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's speech last night? Of course you did; it was a must-see. And regardless of your politics, you can't deny that she delivered it superbly, with polish and poise. In short, at least as a stylistic matter, it was the Best Speech Ever.

But how was the Palin speech as a matter of substance? The AP fact-checked it and identified some issues:

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."
THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Who cares about Kansas -- what about Biglaw associates (and partners)? How would they be affected by Obama's tax plan? With their six- and seven-figure salaries, some are doing a lot better than "middle income."

Check out some surprising numbers, after the jump.

]]> A series of guest posts on ATL by Ted Frank -- here, here, and here -- suggested that Obama's tax plan wouldn't be kind to denizens of law firms. But under the latest version of his plan -- new and improved, arguably for political expediency -- most ATL readers will receive a tax cut.

Shortly before the Labor Day holiday (so some of you probably missed it), an online tool allowing you to calculate your Obama tax cut made its debut. Check it out here (via TaxProf Blog). You can enter your approximate adjusted gross income and see what Obama can do for you.

A few data points relevant to firm lawyers:

If your adjusted gross income is around $150,000 -- let's say you're a first-year associate at a firm that's not quite on the $160K scale, like a decent midsize or regional law firm -- your Obama tax cut will be $235.76.

If your adjusted gross income is around $200,000 -- this is roughly what Biglaw first-year associates (in their non-stub year) earned in 2007 -- your Obama tax cut will be $2,775.62.

What about law firm partners? If you enter $500,000+ into the calculator, you get this message: "You will probably not get an Obama Tax Cut."

And you might even get an Obama tax hike. Check out this table, based on research by the Tax Policy Center:

So many partners at Am Law 100 firms, who fall into that $603,403 to $2.87 million band, will see their taxes go up by about ten percent in an Obama administration. Top partners at Am Law 100 firms, who earn more than $2.87 million, will see their taxes go up even more.

But who's going to feel bad for millionaires -- and millionaire lawyers, to boot -- whose taxes go up so we can have a better health care system?

Calculate Your Obama Tax Cut [TaxProf Blog]
Obama and McCain Tax Proposals [Washington Post]