[Ed. note: This post is by MARIN, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Marin's avatar (at right).]

If you've ever secretly read somebody else's email 537 times, turns out you're not alone. Larry Mendte, former CBS3 Philadelphia news anchor and Botox enthusiast, allegedly hacked into his former co-anchor Alycia Lane's personal email accounts 537 times since January 2008 and leaked the contents of some of those emails to the press, according to the criminal information filed last Monday. What makes this case interesting is not the charge itself (one felony count of intentionally accessing a protected computer without authorization; Mendte is expected to plead guilty on August 22), but the fact that this case appears to confirm that there are real-life Ron Burgundys among us: vain, jealous and 100% ridiculous.

According to Lane's attorneys, Mendte, insanely envious of Lane's 8.7% higher salary (Lane supposedly made $780,000, Mendte about $100,000 less), embarked on a campaign to sabotage her career by installing keylogger programs to obtain Lane's passwords, which he then used to compulsively check Lane's emails from work. And home. And vacation. And his country club. Lane unwittingly assisted Mendte in his plot to undermine her by sending pictures of herself in a bikini to married NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen, which were intercepted by Eisen's wife. It is believed that Mendte leaked the correspondence to the press, including the wife's classic response:

Boy, do you look amazing in a bikini . . . congrats! Whatever you're doing, (Pilates? yoga?) keep doing it - it's working for you. Anyway, sorry but those seven e-mails you sent to my husband, Rich, well, oops, they came to the e-mail address we both use from time to time, but no worries, I'll forward the beach shots as well as the ones of you dancing with your friends on to his main address. Do you have it?

Mendte also allegedly leaked certain privileged communications between Lane and her lawyer concerning that one time when she allegedly assaulted a police officer and accidentally called her a "dyke b*tch." Stay classy, Philadelphia.

Evidently Mendte was so busy hacking into email, subverting attorney-client privilege and leaking private information to the press that he failed to consider that his lower salary was merited. It takes more than a Cheshire grin and a plastic face to succeed as a news anchor, and unfortunately for Mendte, his spray tan could not mask his complete ineptitude as an investigative journalist.

U.S. v. Lawrence Mendte [pdf]
Philly ex-TV anchor charged with e-mail snooping [Associated Press]
Bikini E-mails Rattle TV Wife; Alycia Lane Arrested, Punches Cop [NY Post]

UVA 3L Mike Stark has not graced our pages since 2006, when he was violently ejected from a George Allen campaign event (see The Misadventures of a UVA Gunner). Stark is a staunch Democrat. When he's not busy studyin' the law, he runs the blog Calling All Wingnuts, whose tagline is "A never-ending battle against stupid, ugly, deceitful and corrupt right-wing water carriers..."

Those on the right are not the only ones to earn Stark's ire. The New York Times reports on Stark turning the attack machine on Barack Obama, via Obama's own social networking site, my.barackobama.com. Stark wants Obama to oppose legal immunity for the telecommunications companies that helped Bush with warrantless wiretapping.

"Obama is getting mad props for social networking," Mr. Stark recalled arguing. "Why don't we use social networking to let him know that he can't keep elbowing his progressive base -- the people who got him the nomination -- away from the policy table?"

A member of my.barackobama.com started the anti-FISA [Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act] group, and Mr. Stark quickly signed on.

In those 10 days or so, the group, with its ever-so-polite name, "Senator Obama Please Vote NO on Telecom Immunity -- Get FISA Right," has grown to more than 18,000 members and become the largest public group on the campaign site.

We're not sure why Stark is getting all the credit for this, since he just "quickly signed on." But good for him as it ties in well with his master plan. We also love that he still uses the expression "mad props."

More on Stark v. Obama and Stark's master plan, after the jump.

* House Democrats oppose Senate spy bill's telecom immunity. [Washington Post]

* Justice Scalia approves of "so-called torture" under some circumstances. [MSNBC]

* Just a few months later, Senate committee gets around to admonishing Sen. Craig. [CNN]

* Clemens and McNamee go head to head before Congress. [ESPN]

* City's scantily clad cowboy sues candy-coated counterpart. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Dems to propose new surveillance bill? [Newsweek]

* Only a Garrison Keillor stalker would call it "transcendental love." [CNN]

* Pearl drops lawsuit against terrorists. [MSNBC]

* Law firm World Series. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Today's stupid crimes from Court TV. [CourtTV]

* Who needs lawyers? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Take the deal, Vick. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* Buyer's remorse on the surveillance law? [New York Times]

* I want a new drug website. [BBC]

* Being the creepiest guy on earth is apparently not a crime. [CNN]

A summary of the action, courtesy of Howard Bashman (aka "Ho Bash," as one commenter dubbed him):

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit holds that the American Civil Liberties Union and its co-plaintiffs lack standing to challenge the National Security Administration's interception without warrants of certain telephone and email communications...

Circuit Judge Alice M. Batchelder issued the lead opinion, and Circuit Judge Julia Smith Gibbons issued an opinion concurring in the judgment. Judge Gibbons's opinion begins, "The disposition of all of the plaintiffs' claims depends upon the single fact that the plaintiffs have failed to provide evidence that they are personally subject to the TSP. Without this evidence, on a motion for summary judgment, the plaintiffs cannot establish standing for any of their claims, constitutional or statutory...."

And Circuit Judge Ronald Lee Gilman dissented. He would hold that the plaintiffs possess standing and that "the [Terrorist Surveillance Program] as originally implemented violated the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978."

Is this ruling a surprise? Not so much. First, most legal analysts were deeply disappointed by the handiwork of Judge Anna Diggs Taylor (E.D. Mich.), the district judge in this case.

Second, here's a telling detail from the Sixth Circuit website:

Does the Sixth Circuit website always feature a patriotic graphic of the United States filled with a flag pattern? Or is this just a special Fourth of July thing they haven't gotten around to changing back yet?

ACLU v. NSA [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit (PDF) via How Appealing]
Many Experts Fault Reasoning Of Judge in Surveillance Ruling [New York Times]

Four women who worked for a private cosmetics contractor, Makeup Art Cosmetics, in a Belk department store in our hometown of Athens, Georgia have each won six-figure verdicts this week after being watched undressing by security guards using a hidden camera in the stockroom of the store.

Store managers installed a hidden camera in a stockroom in 2005, catching the women on tape while they changed clothes before and after shifts.

Lawyers for Belk argued that it installed the camera to catch thieves and said the employees should have known it was there.

[Fulton County Daily Report]

Perhaps. But perhaps you should have told them?

The employees suffered from sleeplessness, anxiety and paranoia due to the invasion of privacy, one of their attorneys, Jay Lewis, said during his closing argument Thursday.

He asked the Superior Court jury for "seven figure" actual and punitive damages for each of the plaintiffs.

But apparently the jury only found the security guards six-figures-worth of creepy.

* With tax law, the sky's the limit. Seriously. [CNN; TaxProf Blog]

* Slow... Typist... Sues... His... Law... School. Must have taken forever to type the complaint (especially with a last name like "Zachariasewycz"). [WSJ Law Blog]

* ACLU seeks disclosure on NSA wiretaps in the Sixth Circuit. [SCOTUSblog]

* Vote Roberts for Chief Justice! [SCOTUSblog]

* AG Gonzales: Federal judges are unqualified to make national security decisions. [MSNBC]

* AG Gonzales: Federal judges should be making national security decisions. [MSNBC; Washington Post]

* Affirmative action takes center stage at Boalt. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Dahlia asks, "Have the Supreme Court's opinions become suggestions in Texas?" [Slate]

* Linda discusses the Texas death penalty cases as well. [New York Times]

* Former Cendant Chairman Walter Forbes get sentenced to 12 years and seven months in prison, on accounting fraud charges. The prosecution was handled by the U.S. Attorney's Office for New Jersey; Forbes was represented by Williams & Connolly. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Picking a jury for the Scooter Libby trial in D.C., the biggest small town in America: it ain't easy. [Washington Post]

* Justice Scalia on judicial paychecks. [Associated Press]

And meanwhile...

* "It was just a matter of time before well-heeled business and other interests would expand their influence-peddling efforts, and begin pouring large amounts of money into previously sleepy judicial campaigns." [TimesSelect (pass-through link) via How Appealing]

* No more melting coins for the value of the metals. [ABC]

* Natalee Holloway's family files wrongful death suit in Aruba. [MSNBC]

* "Accuser in Duke lacrosse case about to give birth." [SI.com]

* HP board terminates advisory relationship with Silicon Valley superlawyer Larry Sonsini. [New York Times via Dealbreaker; WSJ Law Blog]

Remember Professor Viet Dinh? If not, here's what we previously wrote about him:

Dinh represents venture capitalist god Thomas Perkins, in Perkins's (rather tense) dealings with HP's board and lawyers [concerning the HP spying controversy].

Dinh, for those of you visiting from other planets, is one of the highest-flying legal eagles in the country. He's a former high-ranking official at the Justice Department, current professor at Georgetown Law, and former Supreme Court clerk (to Justice Sandra Day O'Connor).

The American Lawyer recently published an interesting article about the HP controversy and the troubles it has caused for Larry Sonsini, one of Silicon Valley's top lawyers. We haven't had the chance to read it closely; but one of you highlighted this little tidbit:

Over a Washington, D.C., lunch in which Dinh quickly downed three glasses of wine, three orders of oysters and a seafood gumbo, the former government lawyer recalled he was startled when [Thomas] Perkins first told him about the leaks investigation.

Well! It seems that the super-cuddly professor has quite an appetite.

Perhaps Professor Dinh is still haunted by his childhood as a refugee from war-torn Vietnam? Relax, Viet -- everything is all right. You are a millionaire, and you don't need to worry about where your next meal is coming from. (And if you run out of food late one night, you can always eat the prestige of that SCOTUS clerkship.)

Our question to Professor Dinh: Given your voracious appetite, how do you stay so slim?

Where Will the Troubles End for Sonsini and HP? [The American Lawyer]
Hewlett-Packard Lawyer Dinh Gives Washington the ‘Viet-Spin’ [New York Observer]

Earlier: Viet Dinh: Still As Cuddly As Ever

Christmas is just three short weeks away. Biglaw partners are making their lists, checking them twice, and doling out cash to all associates who are nice.

But no big bonus news has broken yet. We've stopped by the message boards, and they're relatively quiet. There is a rumor going around that a top five firm has made an announcement, but nobody has seen a memo. Nor has the firm in question been named. So we have our doubts.

For those of you waiting to hear about the gargantuan bonuses of investment bankers, so you can be filled with feelings of inferiority and self-loathing, there has been no news on that front either. For our big brother's latest coverage of Wall Street bonuses, click here.

We reiterate our request for news and gossip about law firm associate bonuses. Please send your tips to us by email (tips AT abovethelaw DOT com, subject line: "Associate Bonus Watch").

(To those of you who are especially paranoid about getting in trouble for leaking information to us, here's an alternative, "Deep Throat" approach. If you have info to share, send us an email from your non-work account, with a telephone number where you can be reached. Then we'll call you to get the scoop. There will be no record of our conversation, and nobody will know what we discussed -- with the possible exception of the NSA.)

Bonuses ARE out... but... [Infirmation]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bonuses (scroll down)

* You have a right to a jury trial, whether you want it or not. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution via How Appealing]

* Santa's big behind is gonna make kids want to drink beer?. [CNN]

* Now my case is at the Supreme Court, and I know why; because I got high, because I got high, because I got high... [WSJ Law Blog]

* It's sad when otherwise good people get sucked into the seedy underbelly of the Arizona bingo scene. [MSNBC]

* Nice try, Jane, but a little too late to get your job on the Intelligence Committee back. [Jurist]

Hollywood superlawyer Bert Fields, known for being colorful and combative, may be in deep trouble in the Anthony Pellicano case. From the New York Times:

Prosecutors have called at least 10 members of a top Century City law firm before a federal grand jury in recent weeks in what defense lawyers say is a last-ditch effort to connect Bertram H. Fields, the Hollywood superlawyer, to the sprawling wiretapping and conspiracy case against his favorite private eye, Anthony Pellicano [indicted on wiretapping charges earlier this year].

Or maybe Bert Fields is in the clear? From Hollywood insider Nikki Finke's website, Deadline Hollywood Daily:

Hollywood superlawyer Bert Fields is virtually free and clear of almost every aspect of the Pellicano case, including the wiretapping and conspiracy accusations which federal prosecutors have been pursuing against thug P.I. Anthony Pellicano. "This is done and over," sources told me today. Big, BIG news, and it comes despite prosecutors calling at least 10 members of his Century City law firm Greenberg Glusker before a federal grand jury in recent weeks....

While it's true that the statutes of limitations have not yet lapsed on all potential charges against Fields, I'm told almost every one has already run out, and all concerning the big issues. Meanwhile, for "months and months" now, the feds have stopped asking Fields for any more extensions. He was even able to take his grand chateau vacation in central France during the summer.

This reminds us a lot of the flurry of speculation surrounding Karl Rove's fifth and final grand jury appearance. Some viewed it as the precursor to indictment, while others viewed it as the exact opposite: a tying up of loose ends before exoneration (which is ultimately what happened).

Just as in the Rove case, there's not much point in speculating. Let's just wait and see what happens. Preferably while hanging out in a chateau in France.

Lawyers Called to Grand Jury in Pellicano Wiretap Case [New York Times]
EXCLUSIVE: Bert Fields Can Put Pellicano Scandal Behind Him; "Done And Over" [Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily]
L’Affaire Pellicano: Feds Put Full-Court Press on Bert Fields [WSJ Law Blog]

* "If Mark Foley had sex with a page in the District of Columbia, it wouldn't be a crime. In the capital, the age of consent is 16, as it is in many states. That, coincidentally, is the minimum age to be a page." [Los Angeles Times]

* The Sixth Circuit has placed Judge Anna Diggs Taylor's warrantless wiretapping handiwork on hold. [Detroit Free Press via How Appealing]

* Some benchslapping of the government, courtesy of Second Circuit Judge Jon O. Newman: "Beatings? Exposure to air-conditioning after standing in the rain? Needless strip-searches? Never approached a due process violation? If I thought your client really believed that, I’ve got to tell you, I’d be really troubled.” [New York Times]

* The other shoe has dropped in the HP leak investigation scandal: criminal charges have been filed against former chairwoman Patricia Dunn and four others. [New York Times]

* Apple joins the options backdating scandal club. [New York Times; WSJ Law Blog]

* It's her prerogative... to seek a legal separation from her husband of 14 years. Whitney Houston files for legal separation from Bobby Brown, citing "irreconcilable differences." (What differences? They're both seriously f***ed up celebrities. But we will always love you, Whitney.) [Associated Press]

* Congressional Republicans are falling in line behind the Bush Administration's warrantless wiretapping program. The Administration is also making some progress in pushing its military tribunal proposal forward; but it's proving a tougher sell. [Washington Post; New York Times]

* It's official: Judge Thomas M. Hardiman (W.D. Pa.), who was rumored to be in the running for a Third Circuit spot, has been officially nominated by President Bush. [Pittsburg Post-Gazette via How Appealing]

* Kayne Gillaspie is eliminated from Project Runway. Yes, he was a real sweetheart; but it was only a matter of time. [Reality TV Magazine; Althouse]

* And Tucker Carlson is ushered off the floor on Dancing With the Stars. We voted for you, Tucker -- like three times! Sorry it wasn't enough. [Reality TV Magazine]

* Justice Anthony M. Kennedy was hospitalized and underwent surgery over the Labor Day weekend. Surgeons inserted a new stent to clear a blocked coronary artery. AMK is doing fine and is back to work. [New York Times, Washington Post; Los Angeles Times]

* The brilliant Judge Gerard E. Lynch (S.D.N.Y.) -- a member of the Elect, former AUSA in the Southern District, and former Columbia Law School professor (he still teaches there part-time) -- heard arguments over the legality of the NSA warrantless wiretapping program. We suspect his opinion will turn out better than Judge Anna Diggs Taylor's effort, which was not so well-received. [New York Times]

* High-profile L.A entertainment lawyers Pierce O'Donnell and Ann Marie Mortimer, founders of O'Donnell & Mortimer, are parting ways. Mortimer will be the managing partner of Hunton & Williams's new Los Angeles office; O'Donnell is starting a new boutique law firm that will focus on public-interest work. [Hollywood Reporter via WSJ Law Blog]

* The White House officially renominated the federal judicial nominees that were returned to it by the Senate -- including a few controversial candidates, such as Terrence Boyle, William Haynes, and Michael Wallace -- and also put up some new nominees. Judge Kent A. Jordan (D. Del.), nominated to the Third Circuit, will be in Washington today for his confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee. [WhiteHouse.gov and Wilmington News Journal, via How Appealing]

* A federal judge in Detroit -- Judge Anna Diggs Taylor (E.D. Mich.) -- has struck down the NSA warrantless wiretapping program as unconstitutional. The Justice Department is appealing. [New York Times; Washington Post; Los Angeles Times]

* A federal judge in Washington, D.C. -- Judge Gladys Kessler (D.D.C.) -- has ruled against major cigarette manufacturers in the government's racketeering suit against Big Tobacco. She imposed new restrictions on cigarette manufacturing (but didn't go as far as the Justice Department would have liked). Federal judges sure are busy these days! [New York Times; Washington Post; Los Angeles Times]

* John M. Karr's claim of involvement in JonBenet Ramsey's murder: confession, or crazy talk? [New York Times]

* Merck loses the latest Vioxx trial, in federal court, and a prior Merck win in state court is tossed out by a judge. [Wall Street Journal]