* The bailout is not on. Talks imploded at 10:30 p.m. last night. Congress is back at it today. [New York Times]

* Two-time ATL Lawyer of the Day Jack Thompson, the crazy controversial video game crusader, has been permanently disbarred. [Crave / CNET News]

* Words to live by: Don't make sex videos. And don't store said sex videos on your cell phone. [Courthouse News Service]

* A whistleblower suit against Medtronic for perks paid to doctors was filed by the company's own lawyer. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]

* The young Indiana Jones has a crushed hand, but no misdemeanor. No DUI charges for Shia LaBeouf after all. [People]

Colorful Florida lawyer Jack Thompson is a two-time winner of our Lawyer of the Day award (here and here). He has appeared in these pages so often that he even has his own category tag.

So this news, from the Daily Business Review, did not come as a total shock:

Coral Gables attorney and anti-porn crusader Jack Thompson should be disbarred and not allowed to apply for readmission for at least 10 years, The Florida Bar recommended at a hearing Wednesday....

"It's a privilege to practice law in the state of Florida, it is not a right," Bar counsel Sheila Tuma told [Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Dava] Tunis. "If you look at case law in the state of Florida, enhanced disbarment is appropriate."

The "enhanced" part is the prohibition on applying for readmission for ten years. The standard period is five years.

The hearing was a bit chaotic, with Thompson objecting frequently. He branded the proceedings a "star chamber" and "kangaroo court," before leaving in a huff. And he's taking his case to the court of public opinion. Check out this comment on the DBR story, which appears to be posted by Thompson:

I appreciate the fact that [reporters Billy] Shields and [Alana] Roberts have done a good job reporting what transpired yesterday. What you all don't know is the extent of wrongdoing here by certain Bar officials, the full scope of which is beginning to come to light from sources within and outside The Bar that are now contacting me. Some of them have contacted me as a result of the above article. There is an iceberg here toward which the Titanic Bar is steaming. Many lawyers in this community who think they know what I am all about and what The Bar is all about have no earthly idea about either. Just keep your eyes on what transpires in the weeks ahead on this issue. Law enforcement officials are now involved. The Bar is going down. I guarantee it. Jack Thompson.... June 5 at 7:28 a.m.

Bar Discipline: Disbarment recommended for Gables lawyer [Daily Business Review]

This Florida attorney pops up in our pages often enough to have his own category. We're only a few months into 2008, but Jack Thompson is already on the shortlist for Lawyer of the Year.

We're awarding him a second Lawyer of the Day distinction for today's sanction [PDF] from the Supreme Court of Florida. But we're placing him in the Hall of Fame, making him ineligible for consideration in the future, out of fairness to competitors.

The court is requiring him to get "qualified counsel" in the Florida Bar's case against him. The court directs the Clerk of Court to reject any future filings "submitted by John Bruce Thompson, unless signed by a member in good standing of The Florida Bar other than himself."

In addition to poor judgment in filing coloring books and gay porn with the court, Thompson lacks the the art of sweet talk:

In one of these filings, he references the “children’s picture book for adults” and reiterates that he “sent a pleading chocked full of pictures to illustrate his verbal points, since the Court seemed unable to grasp the words.”

ATL practice pointer: Don't insult the intelligence of your judges. In writing. In a filing to the court. Also, do not model your legal language on dialogue from the movie Dirty Harry.

In the conclusion to his latest response, Thompson states, “This Court has been foolish indeed. It’s [sic] bizarre, idiotic show cause order indicates that it is not done being foolish. Fine. Enter the order you want. Make my day.”

Thank you for making ATL's day, Jack Thompson.

Florida lawyer Jack Thompson, who is completely crazy somewhat colorful, has surfaced in these pages before. But he has never been an ATL Lawyer of the Day.

With this post, we officially bestow the honor upon him. From Game Politics:

[T]he Florida Supreme Court alleged [last] week that controversial Miami attorney Jack Thompson has "abused the legal system by submitting numerous frivolous and inappropriate filings in this Court."...

The Daily Business Review reports that a December document was specifically mentioned in the Court's show cause order (PDF) to Thompson:

"The court described one of Thompson's recent filings in detail. [Thompson] dubbed it a 'children's picture book for adults,' interspersing images with text in his motion due to 'the court's inability to comprehend' his arguments."

Seriously. Check part of the filing out by clicking here (Word document). It sure is purdy, ain't it?

Despite that order to show cause from the Florida Supremes, Thompson is unrepentant. As he told the Daily Business Review:

I have a right to file anything I want with the court. It is beyond bizarre that they think they can tell me I can't seek relief. They can deny relief, but they can't tell me I can't seek relief.

So go ahead, Jack, and file "anything [you] want" with the court. Remember the time you filed gay porn in federal court? That went over really well...

Did This Document Bring Florida Supreme Court's Wrath Down Upon Jack Thompson? [GamePolitics.com]
Anti-porn crusader may face sanctions for 'meritless filings' [Daily Business Review]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Jack Thompson (scroll down)

* He likes 'em young. [WNBC]

* WSJ Law Blog follows SCOTUS comedy. [WSJ Law Blog]

* More Jack Thompson chicanery. [GamePolitics]

* In keeping with the non-top-tier theme, here's a Tier 4 that's moving. [WRAL]

* Sorry, Howard Bashman. [Yahoo!]

When it comes to knowing how to make proper court filings, don't bother with the FRCP, or even the local rules. Just read ATL.

We tell you everything you need to know. E.g., don't file an egg with Judge James Muirhead (D.N.H.).

And don't file gay pornography with Judge Adalberto Jordan (S.D. Fla.). From GamePolitics.com:

That gurgling sound you hear could be Jack Thompson’s legal career swirling down the ‘loo.

The frequent video game critic, already facing professional misconduct charges from the Florida Bar which could see him stripped of his license to practice law, has outraged a U.S. District Court judge by including images of men having sex in a document filed with the court last week.

What was he thinking? And no, the gay porn was not essential to the case (as it might have been in, say, an obscenity prosecution arising out of said porn).

More details -- if you want them -- after the jump.

Here at Above the Law, we're not all about silliness. We have a serious and more practical side, too.

Last month, in honor of fall recruiting season, we shared with you our Top Ten Interview Tips. This is what's known in the trade as "service journalism," or what U.S. News and World Report calls "news you can use."

We now bring you the first post in an occasional series of ATL Practice Pointers. You've landed the legal job of your dreams. Now, what do you have to do in order to keep it?

Today's tip is about being a good loser. Even the most talented attorneys lose sometimes. Superstar litigator David Boies, for example, lost a little case called Bush v. Gore. So what's the best way to handle professional setbacks?

Practice Pointer #1: Don't send the judge nasty, ad hominem letters after he renders a decision against you.

The ACS Blog brings us this news:

Florida attorney Jack Thompson recently lost a case seeking to enjoin the sale of "Bully", a video game which puts the player in the shoes of a high school ruffian. In response to his loss, Thompson delivered a letter to the judge in the case:

Dear Judge Friedman:

Now that you have consigned innumerable children to skull fractures, eye injuries from slingshots, and beatings with baseball bats, without a hearing as to the danger, let me tell you a few things, with all respect for your office and with no respect for the arbitrary way in which you handled this matter. I can handle an adverse ruling by a judge. I’ve had plenty of those in my lifetime, and that’s fine. But the way you conducted yourself today helps explain why a great Dade County Judge, the late Rhea Pincus Grossman, could not abide you. She was not the only one....

Luckily for Thompson, Judge Grossman is no longer around. She probably wouldn't have appreciated being ratted out like that.*

The letter goes on for a while, before concluding as follows:

Next time you promise a “hearing,” I’ll bring a parent with me whose kid is in the ground because of a kid who trained to kill him or her on a violent video game. Try mocking that person, I dare you.

Which brings us to Practice Pointer #2: Don't threaten a judge, either -- even a mere state court judge.

* We're assuming this enmity between the judges was not open and notorious; but maybe it was.

How Not To Speak To a Judge [ACSBlog]
Judge Gives Bully Game the Go Ahead [Tech Law Prof Blog]
“Bully” Case Document Dump [GamePolitics]
Letter from John Thompson to Judge Ronald Friedman [GamePolitics.com (Word document)]

Earlier: A PSA from ATL: Top Ten Interview Tips