That’s the news we’re hearing out of Austin today. When Texas added a constitutional amendment in 2005 banning gay marriage, it may have actually banned all marriage, says attorney general candidate (and former Vinson & Elkins partner) Barbara Ann Radnofsky.

Fort Worth Star Telegram broke the story. Slate sums it up:

A Houston lawyer who is the Democratic candidate for attorney general claims that a 2005 Constitutional amendment that was supposed to ban gay marriages actually took the whole thing a bit further than anyone expected. The amendment states that “marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.” So far, so good.

But then comes Subsection B: “This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” That was supposed to ban any form of civil unions or domestic partnership but may have put the legal status of all Texas marriages in doubt.

Texas: 3500 sq ft, a Lexus and babies out of wedlock?

* Duke law grad Stanley Hilton, 60, sues San Francisco Airport (and some 500 others) for $15 million for ruining his life. The airport noise, which sounds like “bombs dropping in a war zone,” caused his marriage and career to fall apart, he alleges. [San Mateo County Times via San Francisco Chronicle]

* The Ninth Circuit rules that L.A. public defender is entitled to health benefits for his same-sex spouse. [Mercury News]

* ‘I don’t. Furthermore, I am pressing charges.’ New Jersey attorney Steve Hallett accuses woman of harassment after she runs a fake engagement notice. [Trentonian]

* Eric Holder still feeling the heat from his decision to try 9/11 masterminds in a civilian court. [Chicago Tribune]

* … Some questions about the trial that are actually interesting. [Concurring Opinions]

* Terrorist attorney Lynne Stewart is heading to jail. [Associated Press]

* Say it ain’t so, H&H. [Associated Press]

Jeremy Haber’s star rose and and fell before we had a chance to draft a post. Haber is a first year student at Harvard Law School and recently made the finals in the Washington Post’s “America’s Next Great Pundit” contest. From the Harvard Crimson via ABA Journal:

Jeremy L. Haber, a first year student at the Law School, is one of four finalists remaining in the Post’s “America’s Next Great Pundit” contest, the winner of which will write 13 weekly op-ed columns on a topic of his choice.

Haber, who said he entered the contest on an impulse, has emerged from over 4,800 entrants to outlast six other finalists — including a Nobel laureate in physics, an assistant secretary of commerce in the Bush administration, and a Middle East expert at the Council on Foreign Relations.

These are the columns that got him into the final rounds. Unfortunately, some other finals got in the way of his punditry. He is a 1L and it is mid-November…

Many ‘08 law school grads are about to take a step up to second year associate level at Biglaw firms across the land. You’re feeling pretty proud? And lucky to have a Biglaw gig these days, right?

Well, eat your hearts out. Michael Edwards, Georgetown Law ‘08 grad, has already been appointed a judge. He took his seat on the bench in Indiana City Court on Tuesday. From WTHI TV:

The Indiana Supreme Court appointed a new attorney to become a temporary judge in a southern Indiana City Court. Michael Edwards is a Naval Academy graduate, former Marine, and now the city court judge in Bicknell.

A Georgetown classmate tipped us off to the news:

This is one of my friends from GULC’s class of 2008. Already a judge! Ridiculous!

So how’d Edwards come to the attention of the Indiana Supreme Court? Judge Edwards’ ascension to the bench is a result of malfeasance by a prior judge, but was also due in part to a pushed back start date at a Chicago Biglaw firm.

Ben Harper says that “what’s from the earth is of the greatest worth.” Yesterday, ex-U.S. attorney John McKay weighed in on the marijuana debate, and said that “what’s from the earth” shouldn’t be illegal.

Instructing federal agencies to ignore congressional laws is not a fix, said McKay. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

McKay faulted Congress for failing to take initiative on the issue. It is not the place of federal prosecutors or law officers to make policy, he said, nor should the White House go it alone.

In the end, he argued, marijuana should not be lumped in with cocaine, methamphetamine and heroin as part of the war on drugs. Marijuana law, McKay said, “should look a lot more like alcohol (regulations) and a lot less like cocaine and methamphetamine (laws).”

Colorado’s attorney general agrees… when it comes to state coffers. AG John Suthers says it’s okay for his state to tax medical marijuana.

A recent Marie Claire article made us realize that this is not just a question of theoretical interest to some of you. Apparently, there are Biglaw types out there toking up! One 29-year-old corporate attorney told the magazine that pot is essential for relaxation after getting chewed out by a partner.

* Utah college student can’t use “global warming” as a defense. Tim DeChristopher was indicted in April on felony charges for interfering with a government auction and making false representations when he bid $1.8 million for land near Utah’s national parks knowing he could not make good on the bids. [New York Times]

* ATL grammar police will hate this ruling. A misplaced modifier is not a $2.45-million mistake. “[W]hile misplaced modifiers are syntactical sins righteously condemned by English teachers everywhere, our job is not to critique the parties’ grammar, but only, if possible, to adduce and enforce their contract’s meaning,” wrote Judge Gorsuch of the 10th Circuit. [Courthouse News Service]

* Chevron sues lawyer who sued Chevron. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* LA city attorney wants $3 million reimbursement for Michael Jackson’s memorial service. [Associated Press]

* Cheering the Yarvard Crimdogs. [Yale Daily News]

* Ponzi scheme crackdown in California. [KCRA.com]

* FIU law student missing. [Associated Press]

Over 3500 votes are in. Here is our winning caption:

Despite a plethora of non-recession submissions, the economy’s dire straits continues to hold the greatest appeal for our caption contest voters. This is starting to seem like a trend.

We have good news. That is not actually an application-hoarding Biglaw office. Find out the real story behind the photo after the jump.

A Biglaw traveler checked in with us from Minnesota airport:

I almost spat out my Caribou Coffee when I saw this ad next to my gate. Apologies for the pic quality—a little blurry from combination of crappy phone pic and shaky hands from said latte.

Here’s said ad:

Which firm is breaking down its lawyers’ nutritional value?

* The Wall Street Journal digs into the Scott Rothstein scandal. “The Rothstein story is also a quintessential tale of the Sunshine State, where wealthy retirees and other well-heeled investors have been known to chase outsize returns while ignoring myriad warning signs.” [Wall Street Journal (subscription) and WSJ Law Blog]

* How do you defend the Fort Hood killer? [New York Times]

* The 9/11 mastermind, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and four alleged accomplices will stand trial in New York. Congress isn’t happy about it. [Newsday]

* …Rick Ungar defends the justice system against the congressional attack. [True/Slant]

* Trying to be a legal entrepreneur? There’s a school for that. [Brisbane Times]

* A pair of California lawyers wrote a law and then made lots of money off of it. [Associated Press]

* New York AG Andrew Cuomo will make a run for governor. [New York Post]

* Confirmation for Obama’s judicial nominees is moving at a snail’s pace. [Los Angeles Times]

Both California and Texas are thinking about officially deep-sixing sex between lawyers and their clients.

The California State Bar Association is considering a change to the professional rules of conduct to “prohibit sex with clients unless they are spouses or the relations preceded the lawyer-client relationship,” according to The Recorder. The Texas Supreme Court is suggesting the same type of thing in the Lone Star state, according to the Texas Lawyer.

The American Bar Association generally frowns on lawyers getting into their clients’ briefs. The argument against taking discovery to the bedroom is that sexy time undermines an attorney’s ability to give objective advice and to keep his or her interest from limiting that of the client.

On the other hand, regulating bed behavior potentially violates a lawyer’s privacy and the right to freedom of association.

ATL readers, we turn the debate over to you. Is it okay for lawyers to be their clients’ master debaters and masturbators? Moving beyond the theoretical, how many of you have actually had to grapple with this? Take our polls and hear some stories, after the jump.