After they work an additional ten weeks, will the laid-off associates then get their severence?

Since the summer associates have left, it is time to resume giving associates their severance.

While it is difficult to be in more than one
place at a time, I suppose that if it is my job
to help law firms provide severance to
associates, I can split myself.

I had to get a passport and fly first class
in order to get to Cambodia, but Baker Botts
told me to spare no expense while providing
severance.

"Separation Agreement"

I don't need no stinkin'
"separation agreement."

Between Cooley Godward, Sonnenschein, and Quarles & Brady, I am having more fun than a two-pecker goat in a field full of nannies!

It has been a very busy day. Had to work overtime to provide associates with their severance.

Partners like Byrd "Biff" Marshall Jr., and firms like GrayRobinson are bad for business.

"Please note that the dial in will be listen only to prevent disruption to the meeting from background noise from those calling into the meeting."

I suspect that the "background noise" will be the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the severed associates.

I know that I haven't been around much lately. Did you miss me?

The problem with stealth layoffs is that I've got to enter stealthily in order to give associates their well deserved severance.

Generally speaking, severance for staffers is not the same as severance for associates. For me, that means that I do not bother to sharpen the blade when I am called in to give staffers their severance.

I did not read anything about severance in the above post, but I am sitting anxiously by my telephone awaiting a call from Allen Matkins. BTW - my beeper number is 800-555-1212.

I'll get you one way or the other.

"3 months' salary and continued access to the office"

Come on DBR. Just man-up and give the associates their severance. That's why I'm here.

Off with his head!

Please inform Mr. Nannes that I am here to provide the "comprehensive separation package."

Tell Messrs. Goodwin and Procter that I am available to provide a "comprehensive severance." This will certainly ease the "transition" of those affected.

Thanks, SRZ. The blade was getting dull from severing turkey necks, which is my seasonal work before the holidays. Severing associates is much easier on the blade, and it pays better too.