* Who is this really protecting? Do women really need someone to tell us we can’t date this guy? Judging by an unscientific sample of good women dating assholes, kind of. [Feministing]

* Angelina’s lawyer self-deprecates; Angelina doesn’t disagree with his bone-headedness; even Jon Stewart is not immune to her charms. [Legal Profession Blog]

* ABC and Fox look the same to me right now. [BreitBart]

* If 22-year-old graduates with little (if any) teaching experience are fortunate enough to get a coveted, resume- and Ivy-worthy job with Teach for America, they will get health benefits — plus a free pass to say things like “I found my fellow teachers intelligent, caring and effective” and “I have no idea why so many low-income parents make sacrifices to send their kids to private schools” (to peers who did indeed survive public schools) — before bailing for law school. [Citizen-Times]

* And because I am grateful to live in the free world, I encourage everyone to voice his or her opinions whenever given the chance. Of course, these bloggers do so with full disclosure of their identities in the face of harsh political consequences, but we can’t help that we’re cowardly, coddled, self-obsessed risk-averse lawyers living in the U.S. [All Africa]

* I’m sure many ATL readers will be appalled that authorities may have given human beings priority over pets during Katrina, because they’re selfless and not at all judgmental or self-righteous. [WKRN]

* You don’t need to read Fast Food Nation to know that fast food restaurants often fall victim to crime and violence, and that the industry is accused of hurting low-income teenage employees, farmers and suppliers, livestock and consumers. But cheap food for the masses is such a great American tradition, not like foie gras with its elitist and foreign undertones! And we’ve only spread it to the entire fucking world. [WSVN]

* A drink can relax participants prior to physical intimacy, but is never a good idea when one of the participants is driving. [Seattle Times]

* ATL readers, meet Modern Bride of the Year, future defender of battered women. [Modern Bride; lots of “In Defense of”s in Slate’s Wedding Report] [FN1]

* I hate to repeat myself and every other local politician, but what do you expect from New York City public school teachers? (I mean, what does it say when an atheist donates millions to help the needy send their kids to parochial schools?) [CBS News]

* Even highly evolved, quietly progressive Sweden is not immune to the realities of displacement. [New York Times]

* Feel free to direct your anger at me, but foie gras is a traditional part of my family’s Christmas spread. I blame over- and mass-production for the spectacular extent of bad press. How would you feel if turkey were outlawed? And what happened to the veal controversy? I’m glad I don’t live in Chicago. [Fox News]

* Paris has famously vowed not to act stupid anymore, but she should put her money where her mouth is. Sadly, Tehran will probably nix the idea of The Simple Life: Behind the Burqa. [CNN]

[FN1] Brides and grooms-to-be, please forgive me for this gratuitous laugh at your expense. But I can’t help myself, and somehow I am comforted that such sentiment does not spring from bitterness or a Gawker-esque superiority/inferiority complex. I’m just in a state of utter disbelief that earnestness seems genetically intertwined with blondeness and nasality.

* Martha steps into the minefield of political incorrectness once more. [Racialicious; The Mercury]

* There’s nothing I like more than old-fashioned, non-partisan fun. Hill interns, this is your chance to make a buck from an illicit affair or two, without resorting to Jessica Cutler antics (because prostitution can tarnish even the best CV). [Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire]

* You haven’t heard anything since they filed for separation, and you won’t hear anything now that they’ve filed for divorce. And that’s what makes them worth mentioning. (Plus, I have a total girl crush on Catherine Keener and just a regular crush on Dermot Mulroney.) [Yahoo! News]

* An ice cream man in 2007 is a different breed from his 1953 counterpart. (Although a co-worker once did this to me to drive home the point that he was lost without the former girlfriend who used to do his laundry.) [KOCO]

* Wow, talk about passive-aggressive behavior. (The husband, not the wife.) [Island Packet]

* The FTC may be good at many things, but creative punny language is not one of them. [Truth on the Market]

* Sexual harassment: once a dog, always a dog. [Reuters / Oddly Enough]

* I blame the same wiring responsible for guys’ breasts-as-stimuli reaction for the double take on that guy with the Che Guevara neck tatt. Reflex trumps judgment. [Agoraphilia]

* Panda Express, Kelly and Ping’s and hall of shamer Eggrolls Etc are fakes alright, but they’re not illegal. Is widespread consumption of Lean Cuisine a harbinger of another Cultural Revolution? [Disgrasian]

* Martha is peeved that her staff didn’t do a background check on her driver. Expect a guest of middle-eastern descent on her next show, discussing the necessity of luxury Egyptian cotton sheets and teaching TV viewers how to make basbousa. [Huffington Post]

* We’ve known this for some time, but it’s worth repeating: that Chiquita Banana you eat before an intramural game is quite possibly the world’s most imperfect food. [Boston Herald]

* Venn Diagrams rule. Speaking of tennis, don’t forget to catch the finals of the Roland Garros this weekend. And phenomenal Ana (also infinitely hotter than her poufy-faced predecessor of sorts) has her own blog! [FN1] [Indexed via Quiz Law]

[FN1] And I’m not condoning the ridiculous levels of exploitation women’s tennis has seen in the past decade…but she is super-hot, not just tennis-player hot! Yeah, I’m jealous.

* Defense claimed that the dog was hardly a victim and that his barking translated roughly into “You looking at me?” [Rutland Herald]

* So You Think You Can Pretend to be a Cop and not get sued? What would be really funny is filming Sharon Osbourne in the courtroom if her son Jack goes to trial. [Reality TV World]

* Dumb workplace tricks. [Workplace Prof Blog]

* To LLM or not to LLM? Like that 3rd useless year wasn’t bad enough. [Law and Letters]

* If you’re like me and finding work a little eh as summer takes hold, check out the hilarious “Clark and Michael,” starring George-Michael from Arrested Development. And do not comment on how the hand-held camera is so over, cluelessness is getting tired, everyone’s ripping off The Office, etc. Also do not comment that this isn’t law-related, because Michael Cera as my weird, unofficial, underaged crush is kind of criminal. Actually, scrap that, I think he’s 19 now. Anyway, just enjoy. [Clark and Michael]

* Ethiopia is fast becoming the safety school of adopting families. As much red tape as you encounter, oh culturally aware saviors, it will not be as infuriating as this. [International Herald Tribune]

* Ironic grades are cool, but now that the hipster is good and buried, this is the time for the academic to stake her claim to a piece of our generation’s cultural zeitgeist. [Prawfs Blawg]

* Some money-grubbing entrepreneurs have cheated honest, quilt-making folk under the guise of art patronage. Allegedly. [Charlotte Observer]

* Memorial Day—not just for barbecues anymore. [Dumb Ass Daily]

* These ads are as unfunny as the Jon Stewart skit, and both are a waste of Jack Chin’s legal credentials. [Arizona Daily Star]

* I doubt books are in any danger. Remember the Rocket? [Out of the Jungle]

* You are probably safe calling her hot and/or making phallic jokes, but please don’t make any tenuous analogies between a sex crime victim accused of “asking for it” and a beautiful and athletic object of lust. I kind of think we should be more worried about other over-exposed (but less blessed) girls like Tara Reid. [Sports Law Blog]

* This is how I want to bill my hours; I’d feel like a veritable Miss America…on To Catch a Predator. [Madisonian]

* Here’s another survival guide for summer campers associates. (Other examples were previously linked to here.) [Daily Business Review]

* 21 Jump Street in action! Perennially young and quirky Johnny Depp could probably still pull it off today. [Seattle Times]

* Can you think of anything better to do after renouncing the practice of law? [Law and Magic Blog (seriously)]

* Some perspective: at least there’s no evidence he ever videotaped high school boys showering after tennis practice. [Charleston Daily Mail]

* Some perspective: half of rich is still rich. And no embarrassing evidence of voyeurism had to come out in the proceedings. [Chicago Tribune]

* Speaking of which, eHarmony might be just the thing to cheer up Monica Goodling. [Time]